X The Singing X ,,OLD STORY,,
by xLaramiex
Summary: BAD writing. I leave it here only because of the amount of reviews and faves.##My version of the Singing, written before the proper version came out.
1. Chapter 1

_I have written The Singing!! Here is the first chapter._

Go to wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6437.php

* * *

**_ONE_**

**_I saw in my dream one of my own,_**

**_In her the seed of Fate has been sewn._**

**_In the mountains she does dwell_**

**_Enduring only a slave's hell._**

**_The joy of the Speech yet to escape her mouth_**

**_Its powers so lately lay not couth._**

**_She is unSchooled – A Gift sits waiting_**

**_For a time will come of despair and hating._**

**_Seek her then, when that morn doth come_**

**_When you see the rebirth of the Nameless One._**

**_Set free the White Fire that dwells within,_**

**_When the battle for peace doth begin._**

**_Behold, then, the Firelily doth sing,_**

**_The purity of the Treesong soaring on Elednor's wing._**

**_Lanorgrim of Pellinor_**

CHAPTER ONE

Maerad and Cadvan sat quietly in the cold square in Pellinor. It was dusk, and they both wore their overcoats, as it was raining.

Maerad still couldn't believe she was here. It had been her home for the first 4 years of her life, and yet she barely remembered it. It was hardly surprising, as a lot of the walls had been razed almost to the ground, the once-great towers now stood ceiling-less and empty, its beautiful stone blackened and crumbling, but she still felt she should remember something.

"Tell me about Pellinor," Maerad said to Cadvan, who glanced at her and nodded.

"I only came here once or twice," he began. "But it was a beautiful place. It had a magnificent glass tower." Cadvan's eyes glazed over, as though he now saw Pellinor as it had been. "It was in the same layout as all the Schools; the circular shape. The people of Pellinor, or Pellinorites, prided themselves on their skills with mosaics; every house had a spectacular picture or pattern outside it. And I think the Pellinorites had more traditions than all the other Schools – put together!"

"Tell me a few," Maerad prompted, when Cadvan lapsed into silence.

"When a baby was born, the family would throw a huge party for it, with all their family and friends there, and they would name the baby." Maerad thought about this for a moment.

"What other traditions did they have?" she asked.

"Let me think…" he said slowly. "They had a midwinter festival each year, it was famous. People from all over Edil-Amarandh came. There was singing and dancing, a riddle competition, a competition for the most beautiful mosaic and one for sculptures. The musicians were excellent; it was a great honour to play at the Pellinor Midwinter Festival. Time was, all a young musician wanted was to play there." Cadvan paused, and Maerad pictured what the festival must have looked like. "It started in the Great Hall in the centre of Pellinor," Cadvan continued, "where the dancing was. And outside, there were stalls selling every kind of sweet and treasure imaginable. The riddle competition was at the beginning of the evening, usually around two hours after sunset. And the winning mosaic in the competition had it displayed on the central tower. And there was dancing all night."

"Did you ever go to one?" Maerad asked.

"Only the once. And I was never asked to play," he replied, smiling wryly.

Maerad smiled too: "It sounds amazing," she said. "I wish I could remember it."

Cadvan squeezed her shoulder in sympathy and asked: "Do you want to hear some more?" Maerad nodded. "Another tradition…" he said thoughtfully, "well, a lot of Pellinorites, when they wanted to propose, the man would take a horse – called a bride price - round to his sweetheart's house, and if she accepted it, she was accepting his love and they were engaged."

"Aww, that's really sweet!" Maerad said. "But what happened if she refused the horse?"

Cadvan shrugged, "At least he got to keep his horse!" he replied, laughing.

They were silent for a time, each engrossed in their own thoughts. Maerad imagined the Midwinter Festival. She saw people dancing in a blur, colours whirling, children outside at the stalls, someone in a robe walking in front of a magnificent wall of colour.

"Cadvan," she said after a while. "Do you know where the tower was that they put the mosaics on?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Could we have a look?"

"I suppose so. Let's go then - don't forget your pack," he told her, standing up.

Cadvan led them through the abandoned streets, muttering to himself occasionally, sometimes rushing forwards quickly and sometimes walking very slowly, as he tried to remember the way. Finally, they arrived at a tower of medium height, with the charred remains of brightly coloured mosaic pieces. If she looked very carefully, Maerad could just about make out a horse there, or a house, or a person. She saw a bright red piece, which was covered in soot but otherwise undamaged, in the rubble on the ground, and picked it up. Wiping the dust off it, she placed it in her pocket.

"Maerad, I think I hear something," Cadvan suddenly said. "Do you?

Maerad sent out her hearing. "Yes…" she said. All at once, something flew out of the sky and clipped Cadvan's head. A moment later, the air was full of wers. They dived and swooped, and Maerad and Cadvan both drew their swords and tried to hold them off. Cadvan blasted one, but it got up straight away, shaking its head. It took to the sky again and seemed to attack with renewed vigour.

Maerad and Cadvan both blasted as many wers as they could, racing through the streets, until they turned a corner and found themselves face-to-face with a Hull. It raised a withered hand threateningly, and as they turned to go the other way the Hull sent a bolt of black lightning after them. The rain quickly worsened as they ran, and more than once there was a clap of thunder. Just as a wer swooped directly down on Maerad, a flash of lightning seemed to freeze the scene, fixing it in her mind's eye. She brandished her sword inexpertly at it, and it flew on.

Maerad, ignoring the rising panic inside her, tried to summon her Elemental powers; she was sure she could blast all of the wers in one go if she wanted, and that Hull.

Except it turned out that there was more than one Hull. Wherever they turned, it seemed, a Hull was waiting for them, sending bolts of lightning at them.

"I can't hold them off!" Cadvan yelled over the sound of the storm and the wers screeching. "Maerad, you have to use your Elidhu powers!"

"I can't," she shouted back. "They just aren't coming to me! I think there's something stopping them!" Cadvan glanced at her, alarm written all over his face.

Maerad met his eye for a moment and then screamed, "Look out!" A wer was diving on him again, out of the rain, where it couldn't be seen. Cadvan thrashed with his sword, the raindrops strewn aside by the gleaming edge of the blade.

Maerad wondered how long they could keep this up; her back was beginning to ache from her pack, and Cadvan's was even heavier. As it was, Cadvan had killed three wers, and Maerad a further two, but neither of them could last much longer and there were still so many left. Maerad followed Cadvan through the streets of Pellinor, chased by wers, forced into their paths by the Hulls' twisted magecraft. It was just sport to them.

Suddenly, a wer flew out of the sky right behind Maerad, and slashed at her thigh with its long claws. Maerad screamed and fell to the ground, as Cadvan turned on his heels and cut the thing's head right off in one long movement. Cadvan checked Maerad's leg quickly; bad, but not fatal, he judged.

"We have to keep going; I don't have time to heal it," he told Maerad, who nodded reluctantly and heaved herself up. They had not gone much further over the cobbled outer streets when Cadvan grabbed Maerad's hand and pulled her into a covered, deserted alleyway.

"If we follow this alley and turn right," he whispered rapidly, sheathing his sword and not letting go her hand as he strode briskly forwards. "We will eventually get to a secret gate in the wall. We should be able to escape through there. I think few know of its existence. We may be lucky." Maerad nodded, too tired to argue, and concentrated on getting one foot in front of the other. She thought of nothing but the agony in her leg. Without warning, it gave way, and she hurtled onto the hard cobbles.

"I can't, Cadvan." She forced out the words as she clutched her leg.

"You can!" Cadvan insisted. "Walk!" He held out an arm to help her up, and when she was standing again he put her arm around his shoulders so she could lean on him.

When they reached the outer wall, Cadvan pulled back the ivy to reveal a door. As Cadvan turned the handle, with difficulty, Maerad suddenly realised.

"Mother!" she screamed. "No!"

"It's alright Maerad," Cadvan soothed, almost dragging her through. "I'll get you out."

As he spoke, no fewer than 8 Hulls rode out of the shadows on black horses, followed by at least 30 more wers, and, lastly, Enkir.

"Where are you going, Maerad of Pellinor?" Enkir sneered.

Maerad was suddenly a young child again, watching Enkir fight her mother, break her. She slumped against Cadvan in a dead faint. Cadvan lowered Maerad gently to the ground and drew his sword. At this, Enkir smiled nastily and said, "Don't think that any blade will wound me." He raised his hands and clapped once, and all at once Cadvan felt the combined wills of 8 Hulls and Enkir pushing against him, causing him to gasp, drop his sword and stagger backwards. The last thing he saw was Enkir smiling triumphantly down at him. His last thought was of Maerad.


	2. Chapter 2

_Please see the first chapter to see a poem and a link to the first picture._

To see the second picture go to wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6437.php6437

* * *

**_TWO_**

**_Wishing, dreaming,_**

**_Feeling the stars,_**

**_Wondering how peace_**

**_Can ever be._**

**_-_**

**_Lonely, crying, _**

**_Alone without peace,_**

**_But striving, trying,_**

**_To bring it to thee._**

**_-_**

**_Loveless, dying,_**

**_But trying still,_**

**_Because it can only ever be_**

**_Like this, like this._**

**_-_**

**_Determined, smiling,_**

**_I may die, but this,_**

**_For all I know,_**

**_And love, and love._**

**_Galen of Pellinor_**

CHAPTER TWO

When Cadvan awoke again, he was slung over the saddle of a horse, held there by tough leather straps. He still had his pack. He raised his head as much as he could and saw Maerad on the horse in front, held there in a similar way, her pack still on her back too. She was already conscious. Cadvan felt giddy and slow, and his head ached. He lowered it again, thinking hard. What had happened? Why had Maerad not been able to use her Elidhu powers? He could hardly argue that the situation was not extreme enough. And how had Enkir known about the door? Then he realised; that dream Maerad had had, all that time ago in Norloch. Maerad had told him all about it, he remembered now. Enkir had trapped Maerad and Milana at Pellinor. _At the same door. _Maerad's exclamation now made sense. Cadvan groaned at his own stupidity. How could he have forgotten? But Enkir still shouldn't have known they were there, and if he was just going on a hunch, the amount of forces he had was quite a risk.

A Hull approached him on a tall black horse. He pulled his head round and forced him to drink from a waterbag. They wanted them alive, then…

As the Hull, obviously the leader, moved off again, Cadvan tried to ask him where they were going. The Hull did not respond.

A few hours later, Cadvan and Maerad were permitted to ride behind one of the Hulls, but this was almost worse; it made Cadvan feel sick. He had to get to Maerad and escape. The storm died out during the night, and the sun came out weakly the next day. The clouds lingered in the sky, but Cadvan did not think it would rain for at least two days. Rain, he thought, would be good weather to make an escape in. It would cover their tracks and hide them.

Cadvan reached out to Maerad with his mind.

"Maerad," he called into her mind. "Maerad, are you alright?"

"Yes," she replied. "My leg still hurts though. I need you to heal it."

"Well I can't yet, obviously; we need to escape first and then I will. Do you remember what you did to escape Arkan?"

"Yes," Maerad replied.

"Because I think we should do that. Remember to hold your shield as you create your semblance and veil yourself. But not yet; when it starts to rain. Rain is good weather for escaping."

Two days after they had been ambushed, it started to rain in the evening. Maerad felt Cadvan touch her mind again.

"Are you ready?" he asked. "Prepare yourself. Create your shield and make your semblance."

"Which way do we go?" Maerad asked him. She could almost sense him looking around, thinking, calculating.

"Directly to your right," he said.

"Alright," Maerad agreed. "I'm starting now."

She carefully created her shield, so the Hulls couldn't sense her magery. When she was sure it was strong, she made her semblance. It was easier this time, and when Cadvan said into her mind, "Now!" she let the semblance out of her mind, veiled herself, slipped carefully off the horse and ran through a gap between two Hulls. She dodged the wers, making for the trees. But before she got there, a cry went up from the Hulls.

"They are trying to get away!" the leader screamed. Maerad ran faster to keep up with Cadvan, who she was leaning on heavily because of her leg. As she stumbled, she couldn't stop a faint cry from escaping her, and she briefly lost concentration, becoming visible. A bolt of black lightning came from behind and hit Cadvan in the back. He froze without a sound, flickering back into the view of the Hulls as he did. Without his support, she fell, and soon the Hulls had found her by kicking around Cadvan, and shot a bolt of lightning at her. She felt herself freeze.

The Hulls manipulated their limbs like dolls, and lifted them back onto the horses. Maerad felt like an observer in her own body; she could blink, and she could breathe – with difficulty – but she could not move any of her limbs or even her head.

Over the next few days, the Hulls seemed to get increasingly nervous. They rarely spoke, except for the leader to tell them to go faster or for Maerad's or Cadvan's Hull to tell one of them to keep still.

The spell to freeze them had worn off and had not been renewed, but now their hands were bound together and tied to the saddle. Maerad thought they must be getting close to their destination. Cadvan had told her through mindtouch that he thought they were being taken to the Nameless One. Maerad's insides went cold at the thought.

"I think he's in Dagra," he had continued.

Maerad watched a scrawny cow desperately trying to find a few last blades of grass from the bare field it was being grazed in. The hedge was so thin the owners of the field had tried to improve it with a makeshift fence made of uncut logs. One end had been pulled away by people desperate for firewood and building materials, so a young child of around 10 sat in the field to make sure the cow did not escape. His mother had died of the white sickness several years ago when she had gone to the town, his father had been blinded and still struggled to help the boy's relatively healthy but helplessly old grandfather in the fields. The boy knew that his grandfather would die soon, and had no idea what they would do when this happened; they couldn't leave the cow to escape and his father certainly couldn't work the field on his own.

To the boy, it came almost as a relief when the Hulls killed him.

To their horror, Maerad and Cadvan were forced to eat the cow stolen from the dying family that night around a fire made of wood from the makeshift fence.

The next day, around noon, Maerad saw something on the horizon. A tower, a dark tower that glittered forbiddingly in the sun.

"Dagra," Cadvan said into her mind. "That's the Iron Tower." The tower came closer and closer as the day wore on, and they were almost there by the time the sun was beginning to set. The Hulls continued on, obviously wanting to arrive before nightfall. The sky gradually darkened, and the sun had gone before they arrived. Maerad and Cadvan were dragged from the horses and the Hulls pulled them by the straps around their wrists, through enormous gates and down dark streets, until finally they arrived at the base of the tower. They were taken inside through a door with two Hulls outside. They spoke quietly to Maerad's and Cadvan's guards, then allowed them inside. They had to walk up 6 flights of stairs, before being dragged into a large dimly-lit room, sparsely furnished. Their bonds were cut roughly - obviously they were not expected to be able to escape. In front, Maerad could see a dark shape which might just have been a man sitting in a large chair. Immediately, she felt a cold hard will pressing against her mind. She reached out a hand to Cadvan who held it firmly in his own.

"So here you are," the man said quietly but coldly. Maerad squinted through the darkness. All she could see was a shadow and the glint of an eye. "Imank," the faceless voice said. "You may go." Maerad used the pause to look around. The room was ill-lit and cold. The walls were made of polished black stone, which reflected the dim light coming from several flickering iron braziers attached to the walls.

By this time, Imank was gone. The man turned his attention back on them. He did not speak. Eventually, she heard Cadvan ask, "Am I right in thinking we are in the presence of the one often known as the Nameless?"

"Quite correct." Cadvan squeezed her hand briefly.

"What do you want with us?" Maerad asked.

"Cease these infernal questions." He had not once raised his voice, but neither of them dared disobey. "Now", he said very quietly and calmly, "you will tell me what you have done with my tuning fork." It was not a question.

"What tuning fork?" Maerad asked, confusion dimming her fear.

"You know full well what tuning fork," he said dangerously, his voice rising almost imperceptibly. "The tuning fork you stole from my tower. I know it was you, nobody else has the nerve or stupidity to break in and steal it. So what have you done with it?"

"We haven't got it! We don't know anything about a tuning fork!" Maerad said desperately.

"What's so special about this tuning fork anyway?" Cadvan asked.

"It is none of your business."

"Well, clearly it is or how are we supposed to know which tuning fork you're talking about? There's more than one in the whole of Edil-Amarandh!" Cadvan pointed out.

"You will kindly watch your tongue unless you wish it to be ripped out of your head." Sharma's voice was calm, but nevertheless had a hard edge to it. Maerad stepped closer to Cadvan, and even as they held hands Cadvan now clutched Maerad's elbow with his right hand.

"This is your last chance before we begin negotiations in a rather different manner. It involves pain," he added, not leaving them in any doubt. "So for the last time, _where is my tuning fork?_"

"We haven't got your blasted fork!" Cadvan burst out, suddenly sounding angry.

"Then you will watch her suffer!" Sharma raised his voice for the first time. It sounded like the terrified screams of innocent children, bloodthirsty war-cries, wers screeching. "Ilidh ca Elednor nara!" he yelled. Immediately, Maerad felt an excruciating sensation as though her very thoughts were being torn out of her head. She gasped and swayed, Cadvan catching her as she almost collapsed to the ground. All at once, darkness began to eat at her vision, she felt nauseous and shaky. The pain intensified and spread to her chest, as though her heart was being split in two. She felt Cadvan lower her to the floor before blackness totally claimed her.

Cadvan stood up to face Sharma, whose face he still could not see, and his fury made him rise up to his full height. He began to glow gently as he summoned his power. Sharma moved his hand as if grabbing something out of the air. Cadvan gasped as the light around him disappeared.

"What did you do to her?" Cadvan demanded.

"A small spell," Sharma replied, sounding amused. "Well, not so small. I removed her Bardic powers, you see. I imagine it's agony for her." Cadvan called him something unprintable in response, and Sharma chuckled.

"You have such courage. It will be your downfall. BOY!" He yelled the last word, and a second later a boy of around 17 came into the room. He was well built and looked strong. A dagger glinted at his belt, beside a broadsword.

"Take these two to the dungeons. And give me their packs."

"Yes sir," the boy said; he pulled both of their packs off them roughly, and handed them to Sharma before turning back to them. "Get in front of me," he ordered, pulling out his dagger. Cadvan scowled but picked up Maerad, following the boy out of the room through the door behind and to the right of them, through which they had been taken inside. The boy rested his fist in Cadvan's back, so that Cadvan was just one flick of the boy's wrist away from death. Cadvan didn't really think the boy would kill him – Sharma was too eager to get his tuning fork – but there were plenty of places he could strike with ease to cause pain and not death.

"What's your name?" Cadvan asked, wanting to get the boy talking in case he let something slip.

"Dhalla." He paused, seemingly considering something. "Are you Cadvan of Lirigon and Maerad of Pellinor?"

There was no point in hiding it – Sharma knew who they were anyway. "We are." They walked on through the dark stone corridors in silence for a few minutes. The corridors had been sloping steadily downwards.

"Just a word of advice – you won't escape, so don't bother trying."

"I'll bear that in mind," Cadvan told him.

They didn't speak another word until they arrived at a heavy metal door, which Dhalla held open for Cadvan so he could get in with Maerad, then spoiled the effect rather by shoving him inside. Through the door was yet another corridor, narrow; no more than a few feet. It was a dead end, this time of thick metal bars, black fire licking the supports at the bottom. Dhalla pushed Cadvan inside the door to the left, and locked it. The room was dark, badly lit, completely bare except for a bucket, had one small window, and was about the size of a large master bedroom.

"You won't escape," he said again as he turned and went out the other door. Cadvan heard a key turning as he laid Maerad gently onto a few straw pallets that would have to serve as a bed.

"Oh, Maerad," he sighed. "What are we going to do?"

He sat with Maerad for hours, wondering how he could reverse Sharma's spell. It seemed that he had stolen her magery, so it was likely that only Sharma could give it her back. But maybe…

His musings were interrupted by a noise outside. He sent out his hearing; there were three sets of footsteps outside. Cadvan stood up and waited nervously. A minute later, the door opened, and two people very familiar to Cadvan walked in, accompanied by Dhalla.

It was Saliman and Hem.


	3. Chapter 3

Picture: pellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6484.php6484

* * *

**_THREE_**

**_A never-ending darkness_**

**_Is said to be spreading out, around._**

**_Yet how dare you stop_**

**_And drop to your knees?_**

**_Do you not long to feel _**

**_The wind in your hair,_**

**_Hear the sound of the birds_**

**_Singing lullabies to help you sleep_**

**_Or the thrill one word can bring?_**

**_Do you not want a full life_**

**_Of joys and despairs and joys threefold?_**

**_We are the light to stop the madness_**

**_From seeping into our souls._**

**_So as long as we are here _**

**_We shall fight! _**

**_To save our beautiful world._**

**_Micha of Lirigon_**

CHAPTER THREE

Cadvan went to the bars as the two Bards were put in the cell with them. "It is good to know you are alive, but the situation is not quite how I imagined a joyful reunion of friends," he said, smiling without mirth.

Saliman stared at him. "I thought you were dead!" Saliman exclaimed.

"Well, as you can see, I'm not. I was trapped in a landslide, but I was not dead."

"But Maerad said you were dead!"

"She thought I was." Saliman embraced him briefly.

"This is grand news indeed," he said, smiling. "But I have some other news that is not so good. I am afraid we were tricked, but by whom I do not know,"

"Where's Maerad?" Hem asked. Cadvan sighed.

"She is unwell, and Sharma claims to have removed her magecraft. I believe he speaks truth and she has not woken for some time. Now that you are here, Saliman the healer, I wonder if you might give your opinion. I believe the spell might only be reversed by Sharma himself, but I want to know what you think."

"Hem is a healer, also," Saliman told him. "He has been learning the art well these last months." Cadvan gave Hem a brief smile. "How did Sharma do this?" Saliman asked, examining Maerad as best he could.

"He spoke some words," Cadvan replied, trying to remember what he had said. "It was…well, I'm not sure if I should say." he interrupted himself worriedly. "What if it makes it worse?"

"Was it in the Speech?" Saliman asked.

"Well, a twisted version of it."

"Then perhaps you could speak it in our language. If you can translate it. Did you understand what he said?"

"Ahh, yes; I did not think of that. Forgive me - I am tired, it has been a hard few days and I worry for Maerad. I think he said, literally; magery from Elednor take. And when I gathered my power, he just snatched it straight from me." Saliman frowned at him, looking disturbed.

"This is bad," he said, unnecessarily. "If Sharma can snatch our powers from us…" He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to.

Early the next morning, Dhalla came in with a full waterbag and a small loaf of bread.

"Ermm…" he began. "How is Maerad?" Cadvan's top lip seemed to twitch, but his face was composed so quickly that, had you seen it, you would have thought you had imagined it.

"Still alive, just about. No thanks to your Lord and Master."

Saliman and Cadvan both stared after the boy as he left. Hem was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall.

"Creep," he said, darkly. Saliman looked over at him, and managed to dredge up a small, lopsided smile from somewhere. The three sat in silence as they ate their meagre rations, saving some for Maerad despite the fact that, although none of them would admit it to each other, they didn't really expect her to wake. Not long after they had finished, Cadvan said, "Now it is time for you to tell me how they captured you. I have told you our tale; it is your turn." Saliman told him everything. He told him all about Hem's bravery and what he had done, how they had finally been reunited at Sjug'hakar Im, how they had been captured trying to get away.

"I think someone knew what we were doing and betrayed us," Saliman finished. Cadvan nodded.

"I believe that is what happened to us," he said. "Enkir didn't only know we would be in Pellinor, he knew which gate we would come out of."

"And so we have a traitor," Saliman said sadly. "I wonder who it is. And why."

"What's that?" Cadvan asked, squinting out of the window into the morning light. They all stared out the window.

"It's Irc!" Hem said suddenly. Saliman followed Hem as he rushed over to the window, picking him up so he could let Irc hop onto his hand. He spoke to the white crow briefly.

"He followed us," he said. "He was very scared, but he knew we were in trouble and wanted to help us. He could send a message, couldn't he, Saliman? He could bring help."

"We have no paper," Saliman replied, thoughtfully. "Could Irc remember what has happened to tell someone?" Hem had another short exchange with the bird, before rolling his eyes slightly.

"He says he is the Messenger of the King of the Birds, and will remember whatever you tell him."

"Tell him to find one of our friends and tell them that Hem, Maerad, Saliman and Cadvan are captured, Maerad is badly ill and we need help," Saliman told him. Hem relayed this information to Irc. After a moment, Hem turned to them all again and said quietly, "He says he found the tuning fork. He buried it safe. I'll tell him to give it to Silvia." He did so, and Irc ruffled his feathers in an important sort of way and flew off out of the window.

That night, Cadvan awoke in the small hours. He lay there thinking about Maerad's condition. What if…

He got up, walking over to where Hem slept. He watched him thrash and writhe in his sleep. The boy had grown a lot both physically and mentally since Cadvan and Maerad had found him in the Valverras, but in the vulnerability of sleep Cadvan still saw the same frightened little boy who had had to cuddle up to Maerad for a bit of comfort at night.

Cadvan wandered idly over to his friend, Saliman, who had stuck with him for all this time. _You shouldn't be here, _he thought to himself, then sighed; _none of us should be here_.

Finally, he turned to Maerad – who, he realised with a shock, was awake!

"Maerad!" he called, waking the others. He rushed over towards her. "Maerad, you're awake!" Hem and Saliman scrambled up and raced over to her as well.

Maerad stared at them in alarm for a few seconds, before recognition flowered in her eyes.

"How do you feel?" Saliman asked, as Cadvan gently took hold of her hand.

"Thirsty," she croaked. Hem ran to get the waterbag, and she drank, choking slightly.

"Enough?" Cadvan asked. She nodded wearily, her eyes closing. A few seconds later she was asleep again. Cadvan took the waterbag and placed it back in its corner.

"Curse him!" Cadvan suddenly burst out vehemently.

"Curse him double!" Saliman snarled.

"Curse him triple!" Hem added.

At length, Hem and Saliman settled back down for a few more hours of sleep, but Cadvan knelt next to Maerad, stroking her hair and thinking. He felt so guilty.

The next morning, Hem and Saliman found him asleep with his head on his arms, leaning on Maerad's bed. Cadvan was taken to see the Nameless One that same day.

The thing that had once been a man was wearing a black mask and floor length clothing so that not an inch of bare skin was exposed. So he was still vain.

He ordered Cadvan to tell him what he had done with the tuning fork, and warned that if he did not tell him he would make Maerad's condition even worse. He engaged Cadvan in such a desperate battle of wills that Cadvan was left gasping. Sharma then tried to scry Cadvan, against his will, but, somehow, Cadvan managed to resist. He had 24 hours, Sharma said, to make his decision.

"Then I will start to break bones. You will heal them, of course, but it will give you pain and it will weaken you to heal yourself so often. I'll hurt the boy too, shall I? Your choice. Tell me where it is before sunset tomorrow, or the boy's arms are broken. You will be watching, of course, so that you can blurt out where you have hidden it." He still sounded almost amused. "Last chance, then. Perhaps this will help you remember. Boy." Sharma gestured Dhalla over to Cadvan, and Dhalla cut Cadvan's little finger off in a quick movement. Cadvan stifled the shocked scream which was his instinct, and grabbed his finger, pushing down his horror and revulsion in his current dazed state of mind. He held his finger in its space and concentrated on knitting the skin back together, linking his blood vessels together and reattaching his muscles. He still had a dark scar running around the base of his finger, and blood covered his hands.

Cadvan was taken back to the cell after this, and he had a long discussion with Saliman. They couldn't give the fork back, they knew, nor could they allow him to torture Maerad any more. They would just have to hope that Irc could find some way to help, because neither had any idea what else they could do.

* * *

Those days were a living hell for Maerad. Sometimes she wasn't even sure if she were alive at all, thinking she might have gone beyond the Gates. She relived her killing of Ilar of Desor; that time when Burk had tried to rape her; saw her mother's dying face, scarred, glassy-eyed; the towers of Pellinor burning, burning; Enkir's spiteful, sneering face; the wight at the Broken Teeth; it was never-ending, always there, she could not escape.

It was like this for three whole days. At last, on the fourth day, she awoke for one short moment. Her friends were there. They were looking after her.

Another three days after this, she awoke again, and this time Hem was beside her, staring into space, while the other two ate and talked.

"Hem?" she whispered, making him jump, then call the others over.

"Maerad," Saliman said urgently. "Can you stay awake for a few minutes? We want to try something." Maerad nodded. "Good," Saliman continued. "Now, Cadvan told me all about you becoming a wolf. If you do that now, you should be able to leave this sickness behind. Will you try it?" Maerad nodded, then sank through the layers of who she was, searching for the turning point, but before she was halfway there a black shadow seemed to grip her and pull her up. She was filled with raw terror, and she came back, gasping.

"I can't," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. Hem hugged her arm, looking helpless.

"It's okay, Maerad, it's okay," Cadvan soothed, brushing away her tears.

"We do have another idea," Saliman said.

"That probably won't work," Cadvan finished. Had Maerad been well, she would have seen that the exchange had the air of an old argument. Saliman sighed.

"We have to try," he said. "Shall I do it?" he asked Cadvan. "Or will you?"

"You try," Cadvan replied. At this, Saliman nodded, and turned to Maerad. "Now, I'm going to sort of scry you, but I'm going to try and change you into the wolf. Okay? You have to let me in, and show me which is the wolf part of you. Can you do that?" Maerad nodded, and they helped her to sit up so she was square with Saliman. He looked straight into her eyes, and tried to search for the part of Maerad which was wolf. But he couldn't get there. He could feel where it was, as Maerad was showing him, but he couldn't get there to drag it to the surface. Something was stopping him. Maerad suddenly tensed in pain, and Saliman withdrew hastily.

"I can't do it," he said, his voice fading into the background as Maerad's nightmares overwhelmed her.


	4. Chapter 4

wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6547.php6547 for the picture for this chapter.

_The next chapter doesn't go up until I have 40 reviews._

* * *

_**FOUR**_

_**Obsessive little daydreamer**_

_**Walking down the street**_

_**Careful where you tread your feet**_

_**It's so easy to fall.**_

_**-  
**_

_**Obsessive little daydreamer**_

_**I love the way you smile**_

_**It sends a tingle down my spine**_

_**Yet I don't know you at all.**_

_**-  
**_

_**Obsessive little daydreamer**_

_**You captivate my mind**_

_**I see you every waking moment**_

_**But still you never call.**_

_**-  
**_

_**Obsessive little daydreamer**_

_**What's inside your heart**_

_**If I peel away the layers **_

_**Do you know where you start?**_

_**-  
**_

_**Obsessive little daydreamer **_

_**I meet you everyday**_

_**In the dreams that I create**_

_**When I scribble your name.**_

_**-  
**_

_**Obsessive little daydreamer**_

_**Have I become one too?**_

_**Micha of Lirigon**_

CHAPTER FOUR

Neither Maerad, Cadvan, Hem or Saliman had washed in days, they were all famished, and growing weaker. Daily they became more and more broken in mind and power through fear and the torture that Sharma subjected them to. He had begun to torture them on a daily basis when they had repeated their lack of knowledge on the mysterious tuning fork. Cadvan losing his finger was only a fraction of the torture; the three were covered in bruises and cuts, and their minds were growing to weak to heal them. Hem's, Cadvan's and Saliman's thoughts roamed, went through a thousand escapes in their mind, but always, always returning to that hell of a place. Maerad's normally pale skin seemed almost transparent, her eyes sunken, her hair lay limply around her head like a dying halo. She was painfully thin and shifted restlessly, unable to settle. Peaceful sleep eluded her always. And Cadvan dreamt of flying…

He was high above the ground, floating through the air. Below him the ground looked unhealthy and sickly, then as he flew on it seemed to grow tall lush grass. He sank lower over the green carpet, so low he could reach down and trail his fingers through it. The dream shifted and he was standing in Lirigon, looking over his own shoulder at Ceredin standing in front of him. He saw the Revenant he had called stalking slowly towards her. As he watched it, Ceredin seemed to slowly vanish, but when the Revenant turned it had her face. And then she said the three words that made tears come to his eyes when he remembered the dream later that day. The woman he had killed said just three words…

"I forgive you."

She smiled at him, then said, "Stop using me as an excuse."

That night, Cadvan sat with Maerad, watching her to see if she awoke. It was about a week since Sharma had cast the spell, and she was showing no signs of improvement. He had been watching her for almost three hours after he should have woken Saliman, but he didn't want to leave her. He stroked her hair gently.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm so sorry."

For the last week, Maerad had been restless in her sleep, but now she lay so still Cadvan kept checking her heart was still beating.

Finally, his vigilance was rewarded. Maerad's eyes flickered and Cadvan quickly let go her hair. Slowly, Maerad came to. She stared at him for a second, then said hoarsely, "I wish there was a way out. I hate this. I'd do anything to stop it." Cadvan went cold. He hid his face in his hands and worked up his courage.

"There's a way," he admitted in an ashamed whisper. "There was always a way." He looked up at her. "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you say? What do I have to do?" Maerad asked, struggling to sit up.

"I didn't say," he began, helping her up. "Because I didn't think you'd do it…I didn't think I'd do it. I wasn't even sure if it would work and I didn't want to find out, not if there was another way. But now I'm sure it will work and I don't think there is another way." He swallowed and took a deep breath. "We know you have to change. You can't do it yourself right now, so you have to let down all your defences, let me see exactly who you are. And you'll be able to see me – "

"I'll do that," Maerad interrupted seriously, surprising Cadvan with her faith in him.

"It's not just that," he continued slowly, as though every word was hard, "I…I have to kiss you." Maerad's insides tied themselves in knots.

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"We have to go even deeper than scrying. Saliman was just trying to bring the wolf part of you to the fore, but something stopped him. If we do this right, we'll practically be each other. I'll be _inside _your Elidhu self, and I'll be able to bring it out like that. Nothing will be able to stop it."

Maerad bit her lip. Cadvan, kiss her? But he was her mentor and friend, he wasn't…_he wouldn't hurt me, _she thought, _he would never hurt me. _Underneath her fear of men was a fear of having to go back into that nightmare world.

And somewhere, in a far-off corner of her brain, a tiny voice was saying, _let him kiss you. Let him kiss you…_She ignored the voice, but nodded, because she couldn't bear the nightmares.

"Alright," she told him. "You can do it." Cadvan smiled at her reassuringly.

"Ready?" he asked, and Maerad nodded, bracing herself, ready for the hard clash of teeth, bleeding lips. She didn't see why this kiss would be any different from what had happened to her at Gilman's Cot.

She had thought she was ready, but when Cadvan's face was an inch away from her own, she flinched away in a sudden fear, her heart beating hard.

"Too fast," Cadvan stated, as though he read her mind. She nodded, swallowing. Cadvan leant forwards very slowly, giving her plenty of time to back away, but she didn't. And instead of teeth crashing together, she felt Cadvan's soft lips on her own. Instead of a kiss hard enough to bruise and cut her lips, she felt a light pressure. After a second, Cadvan pushed gently into her mind. She felt him floating through her thoughts, finding the Elidhu inside her. Simultaneously, she saw Cadvan's memories. There was an odd moment when she saw a memory of herself, a picture accompanied by the words that Cadvan had thought while he'd been looking at her; _You're my best friend._

_I'm not that pretty, _she thought, and immediately heard his response somehow from his head and her own at the same time; _Yes you are._

Then she heard him think _Irana_, and realised it was her third name. Cadvan pulled away as Maerad's skin began to glow gently, as she saw her new Elidhu powers, as she felt how to use them.

"Try something," Cadvan said, sounding excited. "Try using your powers." Maerad thought for a second. She stared at the straw pallet that served as her bed.

Cadvan gasped at the elegant 4-poster that had once been a straw pallet.

"Wow! Well done!" He grinned at her. "Why don't you go and wake those two up and give them the shock of their life?" he suggested. Maerad gave a laugh and Cadvan helped her up. She felt shaky, but guessed that that was more to do with the fact that she'd hardly eaten in a week. Cadvan supported her by the elbow as she bent down to shake her brother awake. He stirred and opened his eyes to squint up at her.

"Maerad!" he cried, registering who it was. He leapt up and threw his arms around her. Maerad laughed and said,

"Hello, little brother!" Hem's shout had woken Saliman and he sat up groggily before seeing Maerad, when he seemed to jerk awake. He stood up and came over to them, and, smiling, placed a hand on Maerad's shoulder. She was still being hugged to death by Hem.

"Are you feeling better, then, Maerad?" he said.

"Much!" She grinned.

"What happened?" Hem asked, finally releasing her.

"Cadvan managed to turn me Elidhu. So now I'm…I'm Irana," she said, with a touch of disbelief in her voice. She wasn't sure why she hadn't mentioned how Cadvan had changed her, but it seemed private somehow. Cadvan said nothing either.

"So…am I fully Elidhu now?" she asked, as a thought hit her.

"I think so, yes," Saliman replied.

"Can I go back?"

"Not until Sharma lifts the spell…and if he dies you'll be stuck like this for the rest of your life," he said.

"As an Elidhu?"

"Yes."

"But…Elidhu are immortal…" They all stared at her. "So if Sharma dies before he lifts the spell…I'll live…forever?"

"I'm sorry, Maerad," Cadvan said quietly. "I don't think you'll live forever anyway. Just a lot longer than Bards. But there's nothing we can do stuck here. We must escape and come back in a stronger position. Oh, Maerad, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Cadvan," Maerad said falsely. "I'd rather be an Elidhu than live through that." _I think,_ she added silently. "Anyway, we have to save the Light." Cadvan put a hand on her shoulder.

"We'll sort you out," he assured her. "We'll get out, easy." As he spoke, the door opened. It was Dhalla. And he'd heard every word.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you for sticking with me thus far: Kathryn Shadow, Frogster, Zanylove, Saea, Loiren, Jennistar1, padfootROX, Athena. I seem to get less reviews every chapter, but I'm still not putting up the next chapter until I have 50 reviews. Sorry about the delay but my internet has been playing up._

pic: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6613.php#6613

* * *

_""We'll get out, easy." As he spoke, the door opened. It was Dhalla. And he'd heard every word."_

* * *

_**Five**_

_**A full moon howl,**_

_**Yet no shiver of the spine.**_

_**A broken twig behind,**_

_**Yet no panic clouding eyes.**_

_**You will not harm me**_

_**I know.**_

_**For my silent protector;**_

_**Even though I cannot see you**_

_**My life I leave with you.**_

_**Micha of Lirigon**_

CHAPTER FIVE

For a moment, he just stood there.

"Are you trying to escape?" he asked dumbly, then: "Will you take me?"

Cadvan raised an eyebrow. "You want to come with us? You're not going to stop us?"

"No way! I hate being here! I didn't choose it."

"Can we trust you?" Saliman asked.

"Would you believe me if I said yes?" he pointed out.

Maerad had an idea. "Do you know where Sharma has put our packs?"

"Yes", he said guardedly.

"If you tell us, you can come."

"Alright then…but remember that he would kill me if he found out that I'd told you. They're in the room next to Sharma's." He frowned suspiciously. "How are you going to get out, anyway?"

"Well…hopefully you could help us get out," Saliman said. "Do you have some keys?"

"Yes. I have keys for almost every door…but I can't get out without authorisation. He doesn't trust me much; not to go outside at least. I could maybe fake a note or something."

"We'll have to try," Cadvan said.

"I agree," Maerad said. "But I think we should wait until tomorrow. I'm still weak."

"I'll come back in the morning," Dhalla agreed, nodding slightly.

* * *

The next morning, Dhalla returned. He had some more food, which they ate quickly.

"I brought a note," he said. "I don't know if it will work. Maybe not. If it doesn't, you have to be ready to fight."

"I'm always ready to fight," Cadvan replied grimly.

Maerad was just swallowing her last mouthful of stale bread when a light appeared at the other side of the room. It grew slightly, then there was a flash so that they blinked, and there was Lady Ardina.

"You are set for failure," she began, without preamble.

"We can do nothing else," Cadvan explained.

"Unless I help," she pointed out.

"Wait," Saliman said, holding up a hand. "Who is this?" Ardina fixed him with her unblinking gaze.

"I am the Lady Ardina," she said. Saliman's eyebrows rose higher than seemed physically possible.

"Then the best of greetings to you," he said hastily. Ardina inclined her head then continued speaking.

"I am sorry, daughter," she said, addressing Maerad. "For I have failed thee. Sharma came to Rachida; I know not how he found it, but he threatened the destruction of us all. He killed three of our people. I could not stop him, and he tortured me, bribed and blackmailed me, and one of my closest friends snapped and told Sharma all he wanted to know. I knew I should not have told my friend in the first instance, but what is done is done. It is my fault that Enkir knew where to find thee at Pellinor. I apologise once again. I could get your packs, and get thee out," she continued, changing the subject abruptly, and disappeared. Saliman turned to Cadvan.

"Am I dreaming here? Did I or did I not just see _Ardina_ appear in front of me, talk to you two, then disappear again?"

"You did," Cadvan confirmed. "And it looks as though we do not have a traitor after all," he added, as the light came again.

"Your packs," Ardina said as she appeared, and handed over their packs. Maerad immediately checked her lyre. It was undamaged. "Now come over here," Ardina continued. "I shall take you outside. I can take you no further, however. It takes a lot of energy." She told them all to take hold of one of her arms. Hem seemed rather shy to do so, and Saliman simply unbelieving. "Close your eyes," she whispered. They all did, and Maerad saw a flash of what she knew would be intolerably bright light through her eyelids. She opened them as the light faded to a normal level, and saw that they were perhaps 20 feet from the wall, on the outside. Ardina leant on her a little.

"That took more out of me than I expected," she said. "I must be weak indeed." Cadvan looked at her in concern.

"Will you be able to get home?"

"I will," Ardina said, inclining her head. "Though I can be of no further assistance to you for a time. Goodbye, friends. Goodbye my daughter."

"Goodbye, Ardina," they all replied. There was a light that brightened until they had to blink, and she was gone.

"That worries me," Cadvan said. "The Elidhu should not be weakened so easily."

"I do not remember them being so easily tired in songs," Saliman agreed, frowning.

"Are we going to stand here debating about Elidhu or are we going to get moving?" Dhalla said, interrupting their discussion.

"He's right," Maerad agreed. They started walking.

* * *

"How I wish we had horses!" Hem exclaimed after around an hour. They had been walking almost in silence since they had set off, and his words broke the quiet mood.

"Aye, it would make this so much easier!" Saliman replied. "Why not tell each other jokes or riddles to pass the time?" he added.

"Alright," Maerad said. "What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?"

"A…stool?" Saliman guessed.

"No." There was a pause as they all thought.

"A person!" Cadvan suddenly burst out, surprising them.

"Yes!" Maerad replied. "Because it crawls as a baby, walks on two legs as an adult, and when it gets old it has a stick!"

"Okay, I've got one," he said. "What is painful to feel, hard to see and difficult to let go of?"

They all guessed different things, then gradually ran out of ideas as nobody got it and lapsed into a companiable silence.

The sun set slowly, and the area around grew darker. They plunged into the woods about an hour before it disappeared completely, and quickly found a clearing in which to set up camp. Dhalla showed them what was in his pack; a tightly packed roll, some food and some water.

Maerad and Dhalla went into a smaller clearing close by to talk.

"So, we got out," he said.

"Yes," Maerad replied.

"And I met an Elidhu," he added.

Maerad smiled at him, and suddenly somehow his lips were pressing against hers; his hands felt like they were all over her as his tongue pushed into her mouth. He pushed her back against a tree as he kissed her.


	6. Chapter 6

Picture for this chapter: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6662.php6662

**_Six_**

_**I'll always be beside you,**_

_**Until the very end,**_

_**Wiping all your tears away,**_

_**Being your best friend.**_

**_-_**

_**I'll smile when you smile**_

_**And feel all the pain you do,**_

_**And if you cry a single tear,**_

_**I promise I'll cry too.**_

_**Larcan of Desor**_

CHAPTER SIX

Trying to control her fear, Maerad attempted to push Dhalla away, but he ignored it. Her fist shot up instinctively as she jerked away and stood in front of him with both her fists raised. As the haze of fear lifted, she saw that he had staggered back and was clutching his jaw, scowling. Fear was swiftly replaced by anger.

"What on Earth are you doing?!" she yelled furiously.

"What on Earth are YOU doing?!" he retorted. "It's only a kiss! You have heard of a kiss?! You have had one once in your miserable life?!"

Maerad's eyes flashed and her jaw set. "You know _nothing _about my life," she hissed. "But you come in and…You're trying to take over!"

"You couldn't stay alive without people helping you."

"I could. I can do it on my own. You've already judged me. You thought you knew who I was before you even met me." Her voice was rising again. "But you don't know who I am. You don't know anything. You think I can't look after myself, need someone to help me, because I'm a girl. I can look after myself!"

"So why is Cadvan with you?"

"He's…"

"You think you're going to spend the rest of your life with him. I don't think you're in love with him, but you think you'll be together forever. Well, I've got news for you; it's never going to happen. He'll leave you soon enough, as soon as you've finished helping him with his" - Dhalla's voice took on a mocking, patronising tone - " "saving the Light" thing. The only reason he's still putting up with you, a stupid _girl_, is because he's using you." Maerad swore at him, and a look came over his face that terrified her. He stepped forward and slapped her viciously across the face. She tried to duck but didn't get out of the way in time, and the blow was so hard her head snapped around. Dhalla turned on his heel and stormed out of the clearing. Maerad stared after him, raising a hand to her stinging cheek. Cadvan came in a few minutes later, looking concerned.

"What happened?" he asked.

"He…we were talking, and then he kissed me, then we were arguing and he slapped me and stormed off. I think he might be with the Dark after all, from what he said." A small sob caught in her throat, and, wordlessly, Cadvan put his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest and tried to hold back tears of…what? Shock, she thought, vaguely. When her eyes were dry, she pulled away and asked: "I can look after myself, can't I?"

"Of course you can. But, you know, everyone needs some looking after sometimes. There's no shame in needing help." A smile flickered on Maerad's lips as she nodded. She wanted to ask him why he was with her, but she didn't dare. "Come and have something to eat," Cadvan continued, and led her to the next clearing. They had set out some travel biscuit and dried fruit. Hem and Saliman were sat waiting, and Maerad and Cadvan joined them.

"I don't think he's coming back," Cadvan said carefully. Maerad just nodded, staring at a piece of fruit.

"I liked him." Maerad said eventually. "I thought he was nice. He just wanted to be free. But it turns out he's just like those idiots at Gilman's Cot." She looked up at them. "That's why…why men scare me." There was a short, awkward silence, the kind of silence that comes from somebody revealing such a private part of themselves that nobody knows what to say. Cadvan regarded her for a minute. It was him who broke the silence.

"Your cheek is red," he said simply. "Does it hurt?"

"No," she lied, not wanting to sound weak: Cadvan could put up with so much more without complaining.

"I will take the first watch," he said, moving closer to the fire. "Maerad, will you go second? I'll wake you in a few hours."

"Alright," Maerad agreed, getting into her sleeping bag as the others did. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he replied.

Maerad closed her eyes and drifted off quickly. The night was uneventful, the biggest dangers being the cold and the weariness that had seeped into her bones.

The next day, they set off early. Cadvan was being even quieter than usual, but Maerad put it down to their experience in the Iron Tower, though the others were not so grim. She caught him when they stopped for lunch sitting behind a tree, with a piece of paper on his knees. He turned it over hastily as he realised she was there, and Maerad frowned slightly. Why was he hiding things from her? She didn't talk and pretended she was just having a look around, and noticed out of the corner of her eye that he turned his paper back over and began scribbling again as she walked away. She sat back down to eat a little irritably, and something about her attitude discouraged Hem and Saliman from speaking.

That night, Maerad was the first to keep watch. Her eyes kept being drawn to Cadvan's pack, lying so innocently next to him on the ground…no one would ever know if she had a look at the paper, would they? Eventually, she could stand it no longer, and got up silently. She knelt next to Cadvan's pack and opened it as quietly as possible. It felt wrong to be looking in her friend's pack, she thought, as she found the paper. She unfolded it slowly, looking away so that she couldn't actually see what was written. It was not too late. She could put it back in his pack and go back on watch and nobody would be wise to the fact that she had even considered it. But she really wanted to know what he'd been writing.

Maerad looked.

It was a poem, written in Cadvan's beautifully neat hand. It read;

I'm a nomad, walking this world alone,

A lonely soul, searching for a soul mate,

A single light, burning in the darkness,

Waiting for another light like me.

All those days of loneliness and despair

Fade away as I look into your eyes;

Times I didn't know if I could survive.

Those black marks upon my soul are fading -

Just as the sun takes over from the night.

Such a blessing can be a curse, I know,

As a parting can be made much harder,

But I can't help that I feel drawn to you.

A nomad has stopped, a soul has been healed,

A light in the darkness has been revealed.

Maerad felt an odd sensation as though her heart was being squeezed tightly, then Cadvan stirred and she jumped, hastily putting it back into his pack. He didn't wake, but she returned to her post and kept watch again.

The next morning, Cadvan approached her.

"Can I talk to you over here for a moment?" he asked, gesturing to a spot away from Hem and Saliman, who were packing up. "I made you a present," Cadvan said as they stopped, a mix of excitement and apprehension in his voice. He smiled as he gave her something. Maerad opened her hand and saw a small piece of varnished wood, about 2 inches tall and an inch wide. It wasn't very thick, and was cut sideways so that the wood was an oval. It had a small hole through it at the top, and it was hung by this on a piece of deep red cord, so that it could be worn as a necklace. Engraved upon it, so that it was raised, was a flower.

"It's a fire lily!" she realised. "Oh, Cadvan, it's beautiful! Did you make it?"

"Yes," he said. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" Maerad cried. "But when did you get time to make this?"

"I made it while we were - separated. I guess I didn't want to believe you were gone, and Ardina gave me hope that you weren't, so I thought I'd make you this. I'll put it on for you," The pleasure was evident on his face as he took the necklace from her. He stood behind her to put it around her neck, moving her hair out of the way. Maerad held the pendant in her hand - it fitted snugly into her palm - and rubbed the flower on it with her thumb. They just stood there for a few seconds, before Maerad turned to face Cadvan and said, "Thank you. This is fantastic." He smiled.

"I'm glad you like it," he said.

"I do," she assured him, giving him a hug. "Thank you."


	7. Chapter 7

Picture: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6693.php6693

_I don't like this chapter. It seems too in-between-y. I quite like the end, though._

_**

* * *

**_

_**Seven**_

_**Timeless treasures**_

_**Worlds restored**_

_**Winds of Change are beckoning**_

_**The seasons pass**_

_**And yet I stay**_

_**So still yet evermoving.**_

**_-_**

_**Can beauty leave?**_

_**Can words describe**_

_**The horror of a death?**_

_**Or even count **_

_**The tears I cried**_

_**The ones so happ'ly wept.**_

**_-_**

_**Can life return**_

_**Like budding bloom**_

_**In beauty of a springtime?**_

_**Or must life**_

_**Return to darkness**_

_**Yet another saddened rhyme.**_

**_-_**

_**Only winds of change can tell**_

_**Breathing o'er**_

_**And o'er the land**_

_**The seasons passing**_

_**Worlds a'turning**_

_**At a wave of our God's hand**_

_**Moira of Gent**_

CHAPTER SEVEN

Around an hour after sunrise, as they walked along the road, Hem began to hear hoof beats a few miles ahead. He wasn't quite sure if he was imagining it, but soon he knew he wasn't and asked, "Can you three hear that too?" They all said they could. Maerad glanced at Cadvan. "Veils?" she asked. He nodded, and they all veiled themselves. As Maerad now had no Bardic powers, she sought something else that would disguise her, from her Elidhu powers. They rode on in silence for perhaps 5 more minutes, before Saliman spoke.

"I think they're Bards. About five, if I'm not mistaken." The silence grew more full of tension the closer they got. Eventually they were close enough to be heard with normal hearing, and then finally came into sight.

"Silvia!" Maerad cried. It was Silvia, Malgorn, Indik and two Bards she did not know. Silvia quickly dismounted and the others followed suite as they greeted one another. Silvia hugged Maerad tightly, and Malgorn shook her hand. Indik merely nodded at her.

"You got out then?" Silvia said.

"Yes," Maerad replied simply.

"You have changed much since I last saw you," she said. "You look more grown up," she added. Turning to Hem, she added: "And you, young man, must be Hem. Am I correct?" Hem nodded. "Then I have something of yours." And she handed him the tuning fork.

Presently, they all mounted again, and went on to Innail. They took it in turns to ride or walk. On the way, Maerad and Cadvan told of what had happened to them, including how they had found Hem and how Maerad had discovered about being part Elidhu - and that Cadvan had changed her to be one now (though still neither of them mentioned how) and then Saliman and Hem told of what had happened to them, from when they had left Innail, right up to when Hem had found that the person he'd thought was Zelika was actually her brother. Maerad felt unutterably sorry for her brother when she heard this, and realised that he was stronger than they sometimes gave him credit for. After leaving Sjug'Hakar Im, they had meant to go back to Innail, but had gone not 2 days until they were found, overpowered and taken to Dagra. When Saliman told, with a catch in his voice, of how Turbansk had fallen, Silvia nodded sadly and Cadvan bowed his head. Finally, it was Silvia's turn.

"We lost Oron," she said sadly. Maerad saw Cadvan look up quickly out of the corner of her eye.

"How?" he asked.

"A battle near Tinagel. Innail has been much afflicted by bands of marauders down this side of the mountain, men mainly, but also some wers... They mounted a big assault on Tinagel, attacking the townspeople at night. They weren't entirely unprepared, but it was a hard battle. Oron went to help the defence, with many other Bards. They destroyed the attackers. But Oron did not return." There was a slight catch in Silvia's voice, and she sighed. "She is sorely missed. Malgorn is First Bard now, which doesn't sit easily on him. He worries overmuch. Not that there isn't much to worry about." She smiled crookedly. "Alas, I am trying to think of good things to tell, but none will come to me. There are rumours that Imank marches north, while others say that he is moving westward to Car Amdridh. Many refugees have fled northwards to Til Amon. I heard that Juriken, the First Bard there, is dead. But from this distance, it is impossible to know the truth of the matter: we have birdnews at best, and that is always sketchy."

"Enkir grows in his strength," Malgorn said. "And still many Schools support him, and none dare oppose him openly. Yet. People are more afraid of the Dark than they are of what Enkir is doing. I fear both of them, equally...As ever, the greatest resistance is in the Seven Kingdoms."

"Enkir demands clear and unambiguous fealty from every School," said Silvia. "As if a First Bard has ever demanded such a thing! Only the kings have dared to do such a thing, once, and we know what that led to - war and ruin in Annar. But we all fear that he plans to march on Til Amon, which lies most open to him. They have not, as yet, returned their pledge. As we have not. And others."

"It's hard to keep in touch," added Malgorn, frowning. "Roads are no longer as safe as they were, and no one dares to trust letters, lest they fall into the wrong hands. And so we sift gossip and rumours, trying to discern what is true and what is not, what is likely and what is impossible…" He fell silent.

"We hear news, all the same," said Silvia. "And Bards have not completely given up travelling. The worst, of course, is the Fall of Turbansk…" Saliman sighed, as though unhappy to be reminded of his School's falling.

It was easier to travel in a group of people, Maerad found, in some ways at least; it meant that they had longer asleep and could even keep watch in pairs to stave off the loneliness and boredom, but she missed the quiet companionship she and Cadvan had shared when they'd been travelling alone. Sometimes the two of them would ride or walk slightly apart from the others, sometimes talking and sometimes in silence.

Once, when they were riding behind the others, Maerad asked: "How do you get your Truename?"

"It's often something to do with your personality. Usually two words, but not always. For example, yours - Fire Lily - would suggest that, as well as being beautiful on the outside, you have lots of power inside you."

"Your Truename should be Deep Water or something." Maerad said after a pause. She looked up at him to see he looked shocked. Before she could ask why, he had spoken.

"Why do you think my Truename should be Deep Water?" he asked, his steady voice betrayed by the intensity in his eyes.

"Because…Deep water looks still on the surface," she began, shyly. "But there's so much underneath that no one can see." Cadvan stared at her.

"Maerad…" he said slowly. "My Truename is Deep Water. Nobody has ever known that before."

"Sorry," Maerad said.

"Don't apologise. It is just strange. Though I can think of none I would trust more to know my Truename," he added. The silence that followed was just slightly awkward.

The next few days were uneventful, except for a few Hulls they sensed a few miles off, riding away from them.

They were getting close to Innail now, and even as Maerad could sense the others relaxing, she could feel that Cadvan was getting more withdrawn.

When the sun was high in the sky, Silvia pointed ahead of them down the road.

"It's Innail!" she cried. "We're almost home." _Home, _Maerad thought sadly. _Mine is in ruins. _She kept an eye on the great city as it grew closer, and tried to guess how much longer it would take to get there. By nightfall, they had arrived. Malgorn got them past the gate, and they hurried their horses as a light drizzle began to fall. The other Bards Maerad did not know went back to their own houses, and they went into Silvia and Malgorn's, and sat in the music room with a glass of wine each. After the wine, they had a meal. It was nothing special, but it seemed to Hem, Maerad, Cadvan and Saliman especially good after their time in Sharma's dungeon. The talk was light, and the whole table had the air of being about to burst into laughter.

"What was the answer to that riddle you asked us on the way to Innail?" Maerad asked Cadvan whilst they were eating.

"You mean, what is painful to feel, hard to see and difficult to let go of?"

"Yes."

"Unrequited love," he replied. "It is painful to feel, to love another and know they do not feel the same as you, hard to see, if one of your friends feels it for someone, and difficult to let go of…well, it is."

Maerad nodded. "That's a good riddle," she said.

Cadvan stared at her with his serious dark eyes for a moment, then gave a crooked smile and went back to eating.

"What do you call a storm dog in summertime?" he asked. Maerad chewed thoughtfully for a moment.

"I don't know," she said. "What do you call a storm dog in summertime?"

"A hot dog!" Maerad groaned and rolled her eyes, and Cadvan just grinned. "They get worse!" he assured her.

"Then please don't bother!" Maerad told him, laughing.

"There's a small dance tomorrow evening," Silvia said later. "Malgorn and I are going. It should be great fun!"

"Perhaps Cadvan will take me," Maerad said, grinning at him cheekily.

"I thought you didn't like dancing, Maerad?" he joked. Maerad punched him lightly on the arm. He turned to her and his face became a little more serious. "Would you like to go to the dance with me?" he asked.

"I'd love to," she replied, smiling.

* * *

Yes, I'm aware that they would not have had hotdogs. Please don't tell me. But do review :D


	8. Chapter 8

_A short chapter. But one of my favourites ._

_I have a request. Please read this chapter so that the line you are reading is at the very bottom of the screen. You can return to normal next chapter, but this one is better if you don't accidentally see what comes up._

The picture: pellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6705.php6705

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_**Reprise:** "I thought you didn't like dancing, Maerad?" Cadvan joked. Maerad punched him lightly on the arm. He turned to her and his face became a little more serious. "Would you like to go to the dance with me?" he asked._

_"I'd love to," she replied, smiling._

* * *

_**EIGHT**_

_**I have an ocean in my eyes,**_

_**A river running down my cheek,**_

_**There's thunder in my head,**_

_**And lightning in my heart.**_

_**My mood is low,**_

_**My spirits as well,**_

_**And my soul is drowning inside me...**_

_**-**_

_**I have sunlight in my eyes,**_

_**A smile lifting up my cheek,**_

_**There's birdsong in my head,**_

_**And blue skies in my heart.**_

_**My mood is high,**_

_**My spirits as well,**_

_**And my soul is dancing inside me.**_

**_Anarkin of Lirigon_**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Maerad searched in her wardrobe for a suitable dress to wear to the dance. She felt guilty to be dancing when there was so much to be done, but nobody knew what they should do and it was only one night. Silvia had found her and Cadvan two small cottages that they could stay in, and had insisted upon giving Maerad all of her late daughter's clothes and jewellery. She pulled out a pale blue dress and tried it on; the bodice fitted snugly and the skirt flowed down from her hips like waves. She spun around and it swished satisfyingly. It made her feel pretty and confident, and she decided to wear it. Silvia came in a little later, and helped her to tie a ribbon the same colour as her dress into her hair. Maerad was also determined to wear the necklace that Cadvan had made her. When she had finished, Silvia smiled at her proudly. "You've grown up so much," she told her. "I can hardly recognise you!" Maerad smiled.

"But it's still me!" she said. Silvia smiled back.

"Indeed it is," she replied. "Now, if you're ready, we will go. Malgorn and Cadvan are waiting outside for us."

Maerad was too busy taking in Cadvan's appearance - black cloak, white shirt, black jacket and trousers - and Malgorn's appearance - black jacket, very pale blue shirt, black trousers - to notice that Cadvan was staring at her.

"Do you know how beautiful you look?" he asked with a smile.

"How beautiful?" she replied playfully.

"More beautiful than the most perfect flower you've ever seen," he said, smiling. Maerad blushed and failed to hide a smile. Cadvan laughed and offered his elbow for her to put her arm through, which she did. They walked on with Malgorn and Silvia. As they were walking, Maerad felt Cadvan's finger on the space where she had lost her fingers. She looked at him for an explanation.

"I'm sorry," he said. Maerad just shrugged.

They arrived at a small hall, where around 20 other couples were already dancing on a wooden floor. They went in through the door and Silvia and Malgorn immediately went onto the dance floor and began to dance.

Cadvan led Maerad onto the floor and bowed as she curtsied, then held her in a dancing hold. It felt strange to be so close to Cadvan, but Maerad felt a thrill go down her spine all the same. She loved to dance and Cadvan was a good dancer; when he turned he stayed on the spot, he held her safe in the lifts so that she was never afraid and he never missed a step. It was a joy to dance with him, and Maerad felt her heartbeat speed up, the blood rushing around her body. A grin forced its way onto her face as Cadvan span her slowly above his head in a lift, and she watched all the other couples doing the same and laughed in delight. Cadvan lowered her gently to the floor as the dance continued. Maerad looked into his eyes as he looked into her own.

"Cadvan, what's a soul mate?" Maerad asked when they were taking a break and getting a drink.

"It's somebody perfectly suited to you, who you could live with forever. Some people never meet their soul mate, and still find happiness. And it does not have to be a romantic relationship - your soul mate can be your best friend. It is just somebody who understands you well, and you understand them, and you can sit for hours together and not have to say a word. You can understand each other so well, there is no need for words sometimes." There was a short silence, and then Cadvan inclined his head to the dance floor with a raised eyebrow; Maerad nodded, and they got up to dance again.

"Shall we go after this one?" Maerad suggested about an hour after this. Cadvan agreed. This dance had no lifts in, but Maerad loved it all the same, although it was very tiring! When it was nearly the end of the dance, all the couples sank down onto one knee in front of one another, their hands on each other's shoulders. Everyone was breathless, and as they knelt some of the couples kissed, some just got up, others smiled at each other. Maerad and Cadvan knelt with their foreheads together, just knelt there…Maerad closed her eyes, loving the feel of Cadvan's touch. He lifted his hand and stroked it slowly down her face; his fingers curled under her jaw, raising goosebumps on her arms. The next dance began and still they stayed there, in their own little world, a haven of stillness in a sea of movement. Finally, they pulled away, and Cadvan held out a hand to help Maerad up; he kept hold of it as they walked out.

They walked in silence through the quiet streets until they reached Maerad's house. Cadvan kissed her cheek; Maerad smiled, said goodnight and turned to go inside. She closed the door and leant back on it, sighing and closing her eyes. She wished she could go through the whole night again.

Had she opened the door, she would have seen Cadvan with his hand raised to knock, before letting it drop and walking home slowly with his head down and a strange look on his face.

* * *

Cadvan was going through a whirlpool of emotions and didn't understand half of them.

He was partly happy, because it had been a good night, but he felt miserable too and he wasn't even sure why, only that it had something to do with when he had said goodbye to Maerad. He thought of Ceredin suddenly. That made him feel angry that Maerad was here when Ceredin was not, which made him feel so soul-consumingly guilty he wanted to hit himself. Suddenly, he remembered how much Ceredin had annoyed him at times. This made him doubt his own feelings for her, which made him feel guilty again. He sat down, his back against a low wall.

"She's gone," he whispered, his words fading into the night. "She's gone. She's not coming back. I killed her. I killed her." It was all his fault.

"No," he realised. _I made a mistake. I did something really stupid. But the Revenant killed her. And__…_his eyes filled as he remembered his dream, _she forgives me__…__what right have I not to forgive myself? But she__'__s still gone. _A tear spilled over and ran down his cheek. He hid his face in his hands and cried silently, grieving Ceredin properly for the first time. Tears trickled out from behind his hands. _I did love you, _he thought. _But I don__'__t any more._ What had she meant in his dream when she had told him to stop using her as an excuse? _But she__'__s gone._ He was so preoccupied he didn't hear the footsteps. Nor did he hear the person sit down beside him. It was not until all his tears were spent that he looked up and saw her. She took his hand and led him home. When they reached his door Cadvan said, "Thanks Silvia."


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: Saea, Neither here nor there (your review made me smile, thanks), Jazmon Kinney-Marulanda (I love your name), Frogster (I am honoured), Jennistar1 (thanks sooooo much), Athena (mwah-ha-haaa you'll just have to wait), Loiren (fanks :D), Kathryn Shadow and EndlessTwilight._

_Sooo…chapter nine…this is where it all starts happening!_

Picture: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6734.php6734

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**_NINE_**

**_I need you to hold on;_**

**_You lie there, so silent, so still._**

**_I need you to wake up;_**

**_You lie there, eyes closed, but not asleep._**

**_I need you to smile;_**

**_You lie there, your face, so empty._**

**_I need to hear you laugh;_**

**_You lie there, mouth closed, face mirthless._**

**_I need to talk to you;_**

**_But you lie there -_**

**_Eyes closed, face empty._**

**_Anarkin of Lirigon_**

CHAPTER NINE

The day after the dance, Maerad was woken early by a frantic knocking on her door. The moment she told them to come in, the door opened and Cadvan came in.

"We think we know how to destroy the spell on Sharma!" he exclaimed.

"What?!" Maerad cried, sitting up and pulling the blanket around her.

"Sharma's spell that binds him to the earth was made when he split the Treesong. That's what Ardina said - she's here now. Except she's not any more, she's gone to get as many Elidhu as will come. They have been weakened by the splitting of the song, and will help us."

"Help us what?" Maerad asked, confused.

"Hem knows what the Treesong sounds like. He will tell you by a vision - do you remember that spell you learned with Nerili? We are going to teach it to Hem and he will use it so you can hear it. You can play a song after hearing it once, correct?" Maerad nodded. "The Elidhu are going to sing with us. They will sing the Treesong in Elidhu, how it was meant to be. I will then be able to see the spell that is on Sharma and unravel it.""So I will be playing it on my lyre?" she checked.

"There's one more thing. When we play, the tuning fork will burn. And you will have to use it to destroy your lyre." Maerad stared at him.

"But it's…" _the last I have of my mother, _she finished to herself.

"I know," Cadvan said, as though he read her thoughts. "You will also have to give some of your blood." Maerad wrinkled her nose, and then a thought occurred to her.

"I can't play because of my hand, and as I don't have my powers I can't summon a new one." This had obviously not occurred to Cadvan, and he opened his mouth, closed it again and swore angrily. Before he could say anything else, Silvia came into the room and told Maerad that the Elidhu had begun to arrive and she had better get dressed. She didn't let any of them get a word in edgeways, and dragged Cadvan away before he could explain so that Maerad could dress, which she did quickly and then ran downstairs.

Malgorn was waiting in the kitchen, and he led her outside to the courtyard.

It was the strangest sight she had ever seen.

Silvia, Cadvan Hem and Saliman were stood in the centre, surrounded by no fewer than 7 Elidhu. They were all different; some had almost translucent skin, others emitted a strange glow, and one, who Maerad later discovered was the Lamedon, seemed to suck all of the light from the surrounding area. The early sun shone down on them all, and glinted off the water in the fountain. Arkan was there, and as Maerad entered he came over to her.

"You escaped from me," he said, frowning.

"I-I hope you can now see why, and will not feel too badly for it," Maerad stuttered nervously.

"I see you have found another," he said, and turned away before Maerad could ask what he meant. Another Elidhu arrived as she watched; this one was Inka-Reb. He was accompanied by one of his wolves, who growled at them before deciding they were no threat and licking his paw. Maerad was petrified at the atmosphere, which was one of pure power, and at the sight of so many Elidhu, but she was even more petrified to realise that she was one of them unless they could get Sharma to undo the spell on her. Cadvan approached Maerad and stood on her right, holding her hand.

"What am I going to do about my hand?" she asked, turning to him.

"We should ask Ardina if she can heal it - or maybe you can try yourself." Maerad nodded.

"I will try," she said. Touching a finger to each of her injured ones, Maerad closed her eyes and concentrated. She saw each of the muscles inside her finger, every vein, every bone. But she couldn't do anything about it. "I don't think I can," she said aloud, opening her eyes and turning to Cadvan. "I can't just make it out of nothing; there has to be something there to change. Maybe we could ask Ardina, but I don't think she'll be able to do anything either.""We'll have to think of something," Cadvan said. "We have gathered all these Elidhu, and they are expecting us to be able to do something. We cannot just send them home because we can't play. Nor can we keep them here much longer; they will not like being away from home." They stood in silence a little longer, and as soon as Ardina appeared Cadvan went over to her and asked if she could heal Maerad's hand, as Maerad had gone inside to fetch her lyre.

"Ardina cannot heal it," he told her when she returned. "But she suggests that somebody else could do the notes that you can't. She also said that another's fingers might work in the place of your own, if the nerves in the base of your finger could be saved.""Will you play some notes for me then?" Maerad asked him, wondering at the strange look in his eye. He lifted her hand and placed his own against it. Their fingers were the same length. Maerad suddenly got what he was thinking, and snatched her hand away. "No!" she said. "I won't let you do it! You can't just give your fingers to me!"

"Why not?"

"Because…it's wrong! They're yours! And you won't be able to play either."

Cadvan sighed. "We have all made sacrifices. I would make this one for…the Light."

"No," she told him bluntly. "I refuse, and that's the end of it. You can do the notes for me - with your fingers on your own hand." Cadvan nodded.

"Alright," he said. "Now it is time for you to hear the Treesong." They walked over to Hem together.

"Are you ready?" Maerad asked.

"Yes," he replied, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's easier," he explained, and closed his eyes. Quietly at first, then louder and with more definition, music trickled into Maerad's head. It swooped and flew around her brain, and, at last, she had the Treesong memorised. Hem opened his eyes and took his hand away from Maerad's shoulder.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. She stood for a few more moments, absorbing it, then sat with her lyre on the seat around the fountain, and Cadvan sat beside her. "And now we will play, and we will sing," she announced, taking charge. "We will free the Treesong and give it back to the Elidhu it belongs to. We will destroy the spell on Sharma so that he is once more mortal." With one last look at the beings gathered around her, some Elidhu and some Bard, she dropped her eyes to her lyre and struck the first chord. There was a short introduction, and Maerad thought her heart would burst with the beauty of it.

And then the singing started.

The voices of over a dozen Elidhu, all their voices raised in song…It was the most fantastic thing she had ever heard. She could well see why Sharma had wanted to capture it. She continued to play, telling Cadvan which notes or chords to pluck when appropriate. She felt more alive than she had ever felt before, the blood pounding around her body. Cadvan stared as she began to glow ever so softly. He wondered at the young girl he had found as a slave, and how different she was now. She was healthier, and her eyes glowed with happiness; her full lips were often curved in a smile, and she held herself more confidently.

She was not a girl any more. She was a lady: the Elidhu Irana, and she had never been more beautiful.

Concentrating, he began to see the pattern in Sharma's enchantment, and pulled away the threads as though it were a particularly large knot.

The tuning fork that Hem held began to glow as they started the second verse, and became so hot he had to keep transferring it from hand to hand. When they had completed the song for the second time, Hem gave it to Maerad. The Elidhu continued to sing softly. She used her sword to cut the place where she had lost her fingers, and the blood poured onto the fork. As it did, the fork glowed red for an instant and then burst into flame at the two forked ends. Whispering, "Goodbye, mother," Maerad touched the burning fork to her lyre and it immediately began to burn. She joined in the singing as Hem healed the wound to her hand, closing up the cut. By the end of the third singing, Maerad's lyre was nothing more than dust and ash. The tuning fork was entirely unharmed. She turned to Cadvan and he told her he had managed to unravel the spell, and also the one that Sharma had placed upon her.

"You can just be a Bard now," he added. Maerad pulled him into a tight, desperate hug, which he returned. For a second, Hem thought he could see them glowing, but then he blinked and it went away, so he thought he must have been imagining it.


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks to Saea, Jennistar1, JessPuggy, Neither here nor there, Athena, Frogster, EndlessTwilight, Lucia Rayne_

Picture: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6761.php#6761

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_**REPRISE: **"You can just be a Bard now," he added. Maerad pulled him into a tight, desperate hug, which he returned. For a second, Hem thought he could see them glowing, but then he blinked and it went away, so he thought he must have been imagining it._

* * *

_**TEN**_

_**Downstairs is where the light is lost,**_

_**The lamp is broken beneath the dust,**_

_**Imagination twists all sense,**_

_**A ghost is coming,**_

_**A 'creak' on the stairs…**_

_**Peril awaits all who dare**_

_**To venture forth and claim what's theirs,**_

_**For years have gone yet items remain,**_

_**For fear they too shall ne'er return.**_

_**Micha of Lirigon**_

CHAPTER TEN

The next few days were full of action - for the others at least. Saliman left for Norloch, to join the army against Enkir. Malgorn, as First Bard, called a meeting, and they decided to send an army to Dagra. Maerad and Cadvan would be among them, and by the end of the week they had gathered over 10,000 fighters. Maerad felt a great sense of relief that, soon, it would all be over; at the same time, she was scared - for everyone. She was relieved that Hem was deemed too young to come, though he complained bitterly.

Cadvan called Darsor to him, and Imi had been with him and so she came too. It took them about a day to arrive, and as a result they were left to graze freely in a large open space just outside the city. On the third day after their arrival, and the same day that Darsor and Imi arrived, Maerad and Cadvan went to visit them. They walked together to the field, and sat on the ground nearby. The horses slowly grazed their way over to them, and Imi nuzzled Maerad's hair.

_I thought you were dead, _she said, blowing into Maerad's face. Maerad reached up to stroke her muzzle.

_I'm not, _she replied, unnecessarily. The horses soon wandered away again, and Cadvan and Maerad watched them in silence for a time. After a while, Cadvan took Maerad's hand and held it so that their fingers were intertwined. His thumb rubbed hers gently, and they began to talk about trivial things, food and drink and things with no particular meaning but to hide them away from what awaited them, creating a retreat into normality before they entered a world of fear and death and hate. In a lull in the conversation, they both looked back at the horses. Maerad glanced at Cadvan, and saw that he had chosen exactly that second to glance at her, and for a moment she was caught up in his deep eyes.

"The spaces between my fingers were meant to be filled with yours," he quoted softly.

"What?"

"It's a famous line in a poem. I can't remember what it is now. But it is lovely, don't you agree?"

"Yes," Maerad replied. A cold wind started up and Maerad shivered. Cadvan immediately took off his cloak and laid it around her shoulders. "You'll be cold," she protested, trying to give it back to him.

"You have it," he insisted. "I'm fine." So she pulled it tight around her and huddled inside its warmth. It felt as though he were embracing her, she thought, wishing suddenly that he would. A little later, her eyes began to close.

She woke up to find she was lying on her side on the ground, using Cadvan's cloak as a blanket and with her head on his chest. The sun had moved on a long way, and she guessed it was a few hours before sunset. She'd been asleep for at least an hour and a half. Groggily, she sat up and realised that Cadvan's arm had been around her, resting on her shoulder. As his hand dropped to the ground, Cadvan awoke with a slight start.

"Sorry; I woke you up," Maerad apologised.

"It's alright." He sat up, then laughed. "You have marks on your cheek from where you were lying," he told her, rubbing her right cheek gently with his first two fingers. His fingers stilled and he looked into her eyes, and Maerad was caught up in them again, falling so deep she forgot to breathe. Cadvan's fingers moved from her cheek and his thumb rubbed across her lips. Maerad was jerked back to the present by a swooping feeling in her stomach as he did this. Cadvan slid his hand away from her lips and ran it across her cheek to brush her hair behind her ear. His fingers slid down past her ear, around the corner of her jaw, and were finally withdrawn as they passed her neck. He took her hand again, interlocking their fingers.

"Maerad…I had a dream when we were in the Iron Tower," he said hesitantly. "About Ceredin." Maerad felt cheated, though unsure exactly why. _Why did he have to bring her up? _"I think it was true, and came from beyond the Gates. She told me that she forgives me, and that I should stop using her as an excuse."

"An excuse for what?"

"I didn't know at first. But now I think I do. Because she saw, when even I did not, what was happening to me. She always was an insightful little so-and-so," he added good-naturedly, even managing a smile. He looked up at Maerad again. _What is it about his eyes that are so mesmerising? _After a few moments, he looked back at the horses. Maerad frowned at him.

"What are you saying?"

"Me? No idea. I never listen to myself. Bad idea. Doesn't help." He was rambling now, and refusing to look at her. She had never seen him like this before, and decided to let the matter drop for now.

"The dance was good," she said, trying to break a little of the tension and return to the easy companionship they had been enjoying before. He had let go of her hand. Cadvan just nodded a little and sat with a pensive look on his face. Sighing, she gave up. He would not say anything in this mood. "I'm hungry now, and it must be almost time for dinner, so shall we go back?" He nodded again and helped her up, before plunging his hands into his pockets. He seemed so withdrawn now she might as well have been walking on her own. _Stupid idiot,_ she thought grumpily. _One mention of Ceredin and he goes all quiet. Why can't he get over her? Fool… _She kicked at a pebble and scowled. The two of them had been asked to dine with Silvia and Malgorn that night, and so they made their way over to there. Maerad knocked loudly on the door and kicked it once when Silvia took more than a few minutes to answer. She pushed in before the door was even fully open and ignored Silvia's greeting. Cadvan also seemed to be lost in thought, it seemed to Silvia, and he murmured "Greetings" as though he were only half there. She closed the door with a sigh. This would be an…interesting dinner, she thought. They had obviously fallen out.

The mood at the table was quiet, as Maerad's and Cadvan's respective moods of being grumpy and lost in thought discouraged Malgorn and Silvia from speaking. Maerad had no appetite, and was simply forcing the food down to be polite, though she scowled still and with each mouthful she also had to swallow a big painful lump in her throat. In the end, Silvia could stand it no longer. She stood up.

"Alright, you two, I will not have you ruining my dinner so please, make up now. I know you are too good friends to fall out properly, so please forgive each other for whatever you have said or done."

"We haven't fallen out," Cadvan protested.

"Then why have you not said a word since you arrived and why is Maerad in a foul mood?" Malgorn cut in.

"I just…have nothing to say," Cadvan defended himself.

"I'm not in a foul mood," Maerad denied. She didn't want to look stupid and tell them the real reason for her mood, which she wasn't even sure about. She tried to cheer up for the rest of the meal, matching Cadvan's newfound smiles and gentle joking, though inside her brain was in total confusion. She walked part-way home with Cadvan, who had again lapsed into silence. She thought he was annoyed with her for something, though she didn't know what. Well, if he wasn't going to talk then neither was she. She held her head high in defiance and marched along beside him. He barely answered her "Goodnight" as they reached his house, and she again felt a stab of annoyance and scowled all the way home. Had he really been so open earlier? Had she imagined the whole thing? She slammed the door behind her.

Once inside, she went to her room and practised switching from her Bard shape to her Elidhu one, as well as the wolf. She didn't practise for long, as the pain was still quite intense - it was, however, much easier than it had used to be. The final time she turned into a wolf, her superior hearing caught the letterbox flap hitting against the door, and she quickly changed into her Elidhu shape and, with an effort so great that beads of sweat stood out on her forehead, she managed to transport herself to the door. Grinning smugly, she bent down and picked up a small piece of paper. It said simply, "The spaces between my fingers were meant to be filled with yours." It was unsigned, but she knew who it was from and smiled. She kept it safe under her pillow that night.


	11. Chapter 11

_Okay…I'M SORRY!!_

_I'm sorry it took so long for me to update!! I was going to do it about a week ago, but my memory stick was upstairs and I couldn't be bothered to go get it, then I've been busy and I forgotted and stuffs so PLEASE DON'T MURDER ME!!_

_I'm now off to make an almost identical apology to the readers of my Dr Who fic; Time Shift…oh boy…_

_I'm kinda nervous about this chapter…It's changed a lot…_

Picture: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6906.php6906

PS will SOMEONE tell me what they think of the pictures? 109 reviews and not a single person has mentioned them -sad face-

* * *

**_REPRISE:_** _Maerad bent down and picked up a small piece of paper. It said simply, "The spaces between my fingers were meant to be filled with yours." It was unsigned, but she knew who it was from and smiled. She kept it safe under her pillow that night._

* * *

_**ELEVEN**_

_**In the land of mist,  
I look for my lost love,  
My heart has forgotten  
The path to the above,  
And I search with purpose.  
I find a hateful site,  
A land filled with darkness,  
No love and no light.  
**_

_**Blinded by this endless night,  
I fly to the highest height,  
In search of what I cannot find.  
Lost in an endless night,  
I fight my fight,  
And death is my sight.  
**_

_**A broken soul in a broken land,  
A single tear shall fall,  
I stand alone with sword in hand,  
And listen for the call,  
And at my final stand,  
I crumble and I fall.  
**_

_**A blackness envelops me,  
Devours me and then releases me,  
A bright sky can be seen without a sun,  
A land for the dead and the place where I am,  
Finally dead and free to live,  
I see my love come to welcome me,  
With open arms he stands,  
And I am finally home past mortal life in the eternal lands.**_

_**Thorkon of Turbansk**_

CHAPTER ELEVEN

On the last day of normality before they had to leave, Maerad and Cadvan went down to the field early to fetch Darsor and Imi. They rode bareback up to the stables, and put the horses into their looseboxes. There was still a certain amount of tension between them. Indik appeared when they were there, and asked to see how Maerad had progressed with her swordskills. He found them both a sword, and Maerad and Indik staged a mock-fight. Almost half of the time, Maerad disarmed him, and she could see that he was very pleased. Cadvan also noted this, from his spot sitting on the fence, and gave a small smile.

"You've come on a lot," Indik told her after around half an hour, and Maerad took this as the highest praise - which it was, coming from him - and threw her arms around his neck. He patted her back a little awkwardly, and Maerad let go. Cadvan jumped down from the fence.

"And now, perhaps, it is my turn," he said. "I should like to fight with both of you. Perhaps Indik first?" The two men began to circle as Maerad went to sit down on the spot that Cadvan had just left. They didn't fight for long - perhaps ten minutes - and then Maerad fought Cadvan. Again, Maerad was well able to keep up and disarmed Cadvan just under half of the time. Finally, Maerad and Cadvan left Indik and made their way to the garden where the fountain with the seat was, after first making a detour to the kitchens to pick up some lunch. They came out with some sweet pastries and fruit juice, as well as an apple each. They sat on the seat around the fountain. After a while, Maerad managed to ask: "Why were you being so strange yesterday?"

"I wasn't," he said.

"Yes, you were."

"Yes, I was," he admitted.

"So why?"

"Because…" He paused for a long time, and eventually continued on what seemed a totally different track. "Maerad, I want to tell you that I am over Ceredin. I understand that I made a mistake, a very bad one at that, but I didn't kill her." He wasn't looking at her; instead, he was staring at the floor. "I miss her, but I don't love her in the way I used to. That's what I was trying to tell you yesterday." He looked up at her now. "That dream I had about her - she told me to stop using her as an excuse."

"An excuse against what?"

"An excuse…against falling in love."Maerad narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you saying that…" she trailed off hesitantly.

"I'm saying…that I have feelings for you…that are more than friendship. Do you understand me?"

"Oh…Yes, um…I mean…" She laughed nervously, and a little colour rose to her cheeks. Cadvan was biting his lip.

"Are you…Is that alright?" Maerad looked up at him. She wasn't sure how she felt yet, but she did know that she cared for the man now gazing at her with anxious eyes more than she had cared for anybody before. Was that love? she wondered. To allay her instinctual fears, she gently tried to enter his mind. He seemed surprised and a little confused, but he trusted her and let down his defences. She saw no bad intentions, only truth, and love for her.

"I don't really know how I feel," Maerad warned him hesitantly but honestly, "but yes; it's alright."

Cadvan looked relieved and disappointed at the same time, and just nodded. Maerad regarded him for a moment, her brow furrowed a little. Slowly, she touched her lips to his, just briefly. Cadvan leaned forward as she pulled away, as though he wanted more, but sat back. He smiled, a small, nervous smile.

"Well?" he asked, halfway to a joke and yet deathly serious.

Maerad didn't answer, but kissed him softly again, a fraction longer this time.

"Does that answer your question?" she asked.

"Yes, I suppose it does," he replied lightly. She could hear the smile in his voice. They sat there for a long time in silence.

"I feel like Hem should come tomorrow," Maerad said eventually. Cadvan frowned.

"So do I. I think he yet has his part to play."

"I think we should ask Malgorn to let him come. Young he may be, but he has already proven himself capable."

Cadvan nodded. "You are right. Let's go and find him now." They hurried, hand in hand, to Silvia and Malgorn's house, where Silvia told them that Malgorn was with Indik. If she noticed that they were holding hands, she said nothing. They found Malgorn talking to Indik about tactics. When he saw them, he greeted them quickly then explained: "We are going to send the best fighters to the front line, with mages to support and protect them. We are going to force Sharma out by setting fire to the Tower, and then it will be up to you Maerad."

"What about me?" Cadvan asked.

"You will be with the mages," Indik told him.

"I'm going with Maerad."

"Cadvan, you can't -" Malgorn began.

"I'm going with Maerad," Cadvan repeated stubbornly. "We can't just leave her to do it alone."

"Alright," Malgorn agreed. "I suppose you're right."

"We…also think that Hem should come," Maerad said.

"He's too young," Indik replied.

"He has already proved himself," Maerad pointed out. "Cadvan and I both feel that he should come."

"Well, then, it is up to him. I do not wish to go against both of your Knowings, though I don't want to send a child to battle."

"He's no ordinary child," Maerad said. "And he has already complained that he cannot come." They left soon after, and went to tell Hem to prepare to leave. He had been staying with Silvia, Malgorn and Saliman, and Silvia helped him - although she complained profusely about him being allowed to go to battle - to prepare. Maerad and Cadvan walked a little way together, then parted with a kiss on the cheek, to go to their own houses and prepare their things; they needed a little food (although supplies would be carried by cart along with them), and Maerad took the tuning fork, feeling empty at the loss of her lyre which her fingers itched to play. She placed Cadvan's necklace carefully on her bedside table, ready to put on in the morning.

Cadvan was woken in the dead of night by a frantic knocking on his door. He was a light sleeper through habit, and immediately sat up and went to his door. He looked through the peephole to see Maerad. As soon as he opened the door, she pushed in and threw her arms around him.

"Cadvan…" she whispered. Her put one arm around her, closed the door and put his other arm around her.

"What's the matter, my sweet?" he murmured.

"I'm so scared," she admitted, her face hidden in his shoulder.

"I'm scared too," he confessed. "Shall I show you what I do when I get scared?"

"Yes," Maerad whispered. Cadvan let go of her, but put one arm around her waist to guide her outside. He lay down on his back on the grass and Maerad followed suit, confused. Cadvan held her hand and pointed up at the sky with his other hand.

"What do you see?"

"The sky."

"And?"

"The stars. They're pretty. I always call Ilion my star."

"Do you want to know what I see?" He saw her nodding out of the corner of his eye. "I see forever. Eternal. But, unlike the Elementals, the stars are happy in their immortal state."

"How do you know they're happy?" Cadvan turned his head and looked at her.

"How could one glow so brightly and sparkle night after night if one were not happy?" He looked up at the sky again. "Whenever I feel scared, I look up at the stars - or think of them if it is the day - and I think, whatever happens, the stars will still be there. If the whole of Edil-Amarandh were wiped out tomorrow, the stars would still be there. They are the lightness that keeps us sane even when everything seems so dark." Maerad was entranced by his words and gazed at him. "We can draw our strength from them, if we need to, or simply watch them and wonder at their beauty." He looked to her. "I do not pretend that I am not still scared. But do you not feel calmer?"

"I feel tiny," Maerad replied with a small laugh.

"Do you want to come in?"

"Yes, please." They stood up and Cadvan let them back into his cottage. He sat on the sofa and as Maerad sat next to him he pulled her close to him and held her tight. He went to kiss the top of her head, but she looked up at him at that exact moment and his lips met hers instead. He kissed her long, but did not deepen it.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she breathed. Cadvan kissed her nose and said:

"Sleep now. There is no use in worrying."

"Here?"

"If you want."

"Sing me to sleep," she implored, shifting to be more comfortable.

"Sing…? Alright." She heard him take a breath, and then he began to sing softly in his deep voice, a song very familiar to her. A song that made her think of her mother.

Sleep, my pretty one, the day is over

Sleep, my darling one, night is falling

The sun bends down to her star-crowned lover

The hare sleeps now in her scented clover

And the brindled owl is calling

Sleep, my pretty one, the night is coming

Sleep, my darling one, night is here

Soon you will ride a ship of gleaming

Silver light with your soft hair streaming

Bright on the darkling air

She was asleep before he'd finished the first verse.


	12. Chapter 12

Picture: pellinormadpeeps./sutra7034.php7034

* * *

_**REPRISE:** She was asleep before he'd finished the first verse. _

* * *

**_TWELVE_**

**_The words will haunt me forever,  
_****_And I know you can't understand,  
_****_But the words will haunt me forever,  
_****_I just can't get them out of my mind._**

**_The words will haunt me forever,  
_****_If only you'd shouted or yelled,  
_****_The words will haunt me forever,  
_****_If you'd only been angry at me…_**

**_The words will haunt me forever,  
_****_You just accepted it,  
_****_The words will haunt me forever,  
_****_Because with those words, you took my heart._**

**_The words will haunt me forever,  
_****_Those three small words from your mouth,  
_****_The words will haunt me forever,  
_****_The words "I love you"._**

**_Anarkin of Lirigon_**

CHAPTER TWELVE

When Maerad awoke, she was surprised to find that she was on Cadvan's sofa, and he had his arms around her.

"Morning," he murmured, as he realised she was awake.

"How did I…Why…" she began, and then, as she remembered what had happened: "Oh…How long have you been awake?"

"About half an hour. I didn't want to get up in case I woke you up."

"Oh no."

"Yes. It's today."

"I'm ready," Maerad told him. "Well, when I've got changed."

"Not yet," Cadvan whispered. "We have an hour or so before we have to be ready. It won't take that long will it?"

"No," she agreed, and Cadvan kissed her on the lips. He deepened it hesitantly, but was reassured by Maerad raising a hand to the back of his neck to pull him closer, and continued to kiss her deeply.

"I never knew a kiss could feel like that," Maerad said shyly when they drew away.

"Then you've never been kissed in love," Cadvan replied.

"No," she said. "I never have."

He kissed her forehead and said: "We had better get changed, my sweet. Come back here when you are ready, and we can get our horses and go to meet the others." Maerad nodded, and left with a wave. She transported herself with her Elidhu powers, and as she put Cadvan's necklace on her thoughts drifted again back to the imminent battle. When fear began to grip her heart again, she thought of the stars as Cadvan had suggested she did, and then of Cadvan. It was true what she had said; she had not known a kiss could feel the way it had when Cadvan had kissed her. It felt wonderful, like being touched by the warm midday sun. She changed quickly, shrugging on her mail with a shudder. She regarded herself in the mirror and hated what she saw.

She saw a warrior.

She turned away with a sigh, picked up her pack, and went to meet Cadvan, and then, hand in hand, they went to collect their horses. When they were mounted and ready, they joined the enormous army of men already assembled. Maerad searched frantically for Hem.

"I have to find him," she told Cadvan. "He can't ride up on his own!"

"Remember he has already done much worse. He can cope. Though I do understand your urgency," he added. Eventually, they did manage to find him. He was mounted on a plucky light-brown gelding, a hand or so shorter than Imi, called Kasta. Not long after they had found him, the call came down the lines that they were setting off. And then they left the safety of Innail behind. They rode at a brisk trot and made good progress.

About an hour after they had left, the scouters at the front reported a group of half a dozen or so Hulls. Maerad, Cadvan and Hem never saw them, as they were taken care of before they got there. The rest of the day was uneventful, and the three spent a while talking to one of the men there.

"Hulls killed my wife," he told them. "And they took my son away. But he wanted to go, that's what is so awful. They didn't drag him, he didn't put up a fight. They'd already got him on their side."

"What was his name?" Hem asked.

"Dhalla."

"Dhalla?" Cadvan repeated sharply.

"Yes. Why?"

"I think we met him," said Cadvan.

"Was he alright? What was he doing?"

"He was…He was with the Nameless," Maerad told him gently. "He helped him to…imprison us."

"Oh, Dhalla, what were you thinking?" the man moaned to nobody. "Do you know why the Nameless wanted him?"

"No," Cadvan replied.

"I think I do. He is a Truthseer, and can see into the future. I have never seen or known of another person who prophesised as he does. He goes into a sort of trance, speaks his prophecy and when he wakes up he has no idea what he has said." The man narrowed his eyes at them. "Most of the time his prophecies are fulfilled within a few weeks, but he had one just before he left and it hasn't yet come true, to my knowledge."

"Tell us," Cadvan said.

"He said something about twin souls being important. And a particular hand on the weapon making the difference."

"Alright. Thanks," Cadvan told him.

"Do you think it will help?" the man asked.

"It probably will, yes."

"I don't think Dhalla is quite with the Dark," Maerad said. "He also helped us to escape. But he wasn't exactly…I don't think he gives his allegiance to either side. He's just looking after himself. He doesn't care about anything else."

"Well, thank you for telling me."

Night came, and the army found their own places to sleep along the side of the road. Maerad and Cadvan slept close together, and Hem a little further away talking to a 17-year-old boy he seemed to have made friends with.

The next few days followed in much the same way, with small incidents with Hulls and them talking to various people. Maerad and Cadvan didn't see much of Hem, as he seemed to be an instant hit with whoever he met, and he was loving it. Maerad and Cadvan rode together, watching the landscape slowly changing, becoming less lush and more starved. The mood among the army became more and more subdued, and Hem came back to ride with them. Silence settled over much of the army as the Iron Tower came into view. The quiet stayed with them as they approached, then somebody saw a huge group of Hulls and the silence was broken as the army began to fight. All around her, Maerad could see swords flashing, hear screams - some of terror, some of surprise…and more were starting that were of pain, as wers flew out and joined in the battle. One set down in front of her and began to transform. Before it could complete the transformation, she leaned forward and cut its head off. Cadvan had managed to stay away from any attack, as the three had been told, but he was drifting further away from her and she couldn't see Hem anywhere. Intent on riding over to Cadvan, she didn't notice the poison arrow that was whizzing towards her head. Thankfully, one of the others did and pushed her down flat against the saddle. Her chin collided painfully with the front of it, but she was still alive and turned to thank the man who had saved her. And saw him fall from his horse, killed by a stab wound. Swallowing back the lump in her throat, she felt Cadvan touch her arm.

"Where's Hem?" he yelled over the noise. More Hulls and wers had come now, and although they showed no signs of weakness Maerad could see that their army was already tiring.

"I don't know," she shouted back. "I saw him a minute ago, but he's gone now. We have to find him!"

The horses were surefooted, and jumped over the bodies on the ground, some of Hulls, their bones crumbling to dust, some of wers, partially transformed, some their own side; ordinary people caught up in this war. "They shouldn't be here," she murmured to herself. It's the wrong weather, she thought, it should be all black and stormy but it's not, it's sunny. A nice day, if not for this.

She almost vomited as Imi's hoof slipped on a pool of blood, and as somebody else's blood splattered onto her she wondered if she would ever feel clean of this battle.

"Hem!" she began to call. "Hem! Hem! Where are you? Hem!" She heard Cadvan calling also and hoped that Hem would hear and come to them. She dodged a bolt of black lightning and spotted a flash of familiar hair. "There!" she cried, pointing, and they both cantered off in the direction she had seen him. Darsor collided with another horse and reared up in rage, then fire seemed to leap from his hooves and he raced off after Hem. Imi and Maerad were left behind.


	13. Chapter 13

Picture: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra7113.php7113

* * *

_**REPRISE:** Darsor collided with another horse and reared up in rage, then fire seemed to leap from his hooves and he raced off after Hem. Imi and Maerad were left behind._

* * *

**_THIRTEEN_**

_**If I could only have one dance with you,  
**__**I'd choose the longest song I know.  
**__**If you would smile at me but once,  
**__**I'd want to paint a picture.  
**__**If we could share just one kiss,  
**__**I'd never want to let you go.  
**__**One dance, one smile, one kiss isn't enough,  
**__**I want to be with you forever.  
**_

_**Anarkin of Lirigon**_

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Maerad took a deep breath to calm herself and reached out to Cadvan in her mind.

_Did you find Hem? _she asked.

_Yes. We are at the edge of the fight, furthest from the Tower. Come, but be careful._

_I will._

She guided Imi to the back of the fight, dodging arrows and magecraft, and there - to her relief - were Cadvan and Hem, waiting for her. She almost managed a smile as she came to a stop beside them.

"We should stay back until the Tower is set fire to…" Cadvan said uncertainly. As he spoke, another scream ripped the air.

"I don't know about you, but I couldn't live with that on my conscience," Maerad replied, ploughing back into the chaos. She knew the others were behind her without looking.

They tried to stick together as much as possible, because they would need to be together to fight Sharma, but it was hard and several times they got separated. The army fought their way slowly through the gates of Dagra, more people falling, never to get up again. They slowly edged through the streets of Dagra. Maerad looked up in the direction of the Tower as a flash of movement caught her eye, and she saw that it was a mighty sheet of black flame, speeding towards them across the space. Her heart thudded in her chest, but she trusted the mages and managed to keep herself together. However, any sort of counter-attack was so long in coming that she almost lost her head and started running or screaming, but, it seemed, the mages had merely been waiting for it to come closer. She leant some of her strength to them, reaching out to join the web of their already entwined minds. Their mage craft swept across the battlefield like a vast bedsheet, not touching the fighters on either side, but met the black flame with a shower of sparks which rained down on the battle. Black sparks connected with the Light's fighters, burnt skin, singed hair. White sparks healed wounds of those writhing on the ground, even as they blackened the Hulls and punched through the wer's wings. Black sparks healed the Dark's fighters, and everyone was so surprised that, just for a moment, they forgot to fight, and a quiet descended onto the battlefield. Then a wer swooped down and tried to attack the man they now knew to be Dhalla's father, and as he raised his sword it seemed the lull was swept away and the chaos and commotion resumed. Maerad found herself up against a Hull and blasted it with a ball of white fire. She heard Cadvan's voice in her head.

_The Tower is on fire. It is not long now. Remember the stars, and may the Light be with you, my sweet._

_And the same to you, _she replied, kicking Imi on to avoid another arrow. She yelled to someone to duck - a bolt of black lightning was heading towards them - and they did so without question, and emotion welled up in her chest that these people could trust each other so well. The Tower was burning lower now, almost half of the way down its length.

_To the front of the battle, _she called into Cadvan's and Hem's mind. She saw two separate lone movements making their way to the head of the battle. _I love you, _she told them both, separately. She loved them in different ways, after all. _Twin souls, remember? _she said into Cadvan's mind as they joined at the front. _I think that means we're soul mates. _She saw a small smile flicker across his face.

_I think it also means we should join our power. _Maerad complied, and felt invigorated by the power rushing through her that wasn't hers. _By the Light, Maerad, that is some power you have. _Maerad said nothing and pulled the tuning fork out of her bag.

"I'm guessing that this is when we need this," she said aloud. Hem frowned at it for a moment.

"I think I should do it," he said, and Maerad handed him the fork. Sparks leapt from where their fingers touched, and Hem pulled back in alarm. The battle behind them was a little quieter than before. Many of the people they had set out with had died, but the Hulls and wers had suffered greater losses. Maerad surveyed the battlefield with sorrow. These people's blood would forever be on her hands, though if they succeeded nobody would remember what she had done. She would be a legend, she realised now. People would make songs about her, the incredible Fire Lily. The deaths would fade into history, until each person became just part of a number, and the number would become more and more vague until nobody knew how many people had died. Nobody would remember this burning, blackened field. Nobody would remember these people's brave mounts, many of which still stood beside their dead masters, licking their wounds and willing them to wake. Some of the horses were struck down, others were taken as replacements for other horses that had died.

Now the Tower had just a couple of storeys left undamaged by the fire. Maerad, Cadvan and Hem joined hands, just as Sharma prowled out of the Tower entrance, howling like a beast, small fires burning on his clothes. His mask had fallen off and they saw the mess that was his face. He stood, unmoving, about twenty paces away from his door. Maerad, Cadvan and Hem were a further fifty paces away from him.

Maerad saw the image of him as though from high in the air, saw the battle still raging behind them, the three of them sat atop their horses, facing…a monster. His face was ravaged, distorted as though it had been melted, and blackened as if by fire. His skin was a mass of deep wrinkles and Maerad could see maggots crawling along some of the channels. She heard Hem retch and her eyes continued their search of him; his eyes sunken into his head, the only thing about him that seemed almost normal, but they were twisted by hate. He had no hair on his head, but his arms sprouted black hair in patches. She almost pitied him.

And then he screamed.

To say the sound caused the hairs of the back of her neck to raise would be to call a storm dog "quite big". Even the wers landed, whimpering, and covered their ears. Maerad grimaced and covered her own. The scream went on for an unnaturally long time, but when it stopped, the silence was worse. The wers all sat up, then took to the air and flew towards them; any with broken wings limped along the ground. All three of them dismounted and Maerad and Cadvan used their joined powers to blast the wers. It took only one hit and the wer burst into flame and slowly crumbled to ash, accompanied by a bloodcurdling screech; unpleasant, but not as bad as Sharma's scream. Despite this, they couldn't possibly be fast enough.

And there was so few people left to fight for. Perhaps a dozen still fighting the Hulls.

_I am coming, my daughter! _Maerad heard in her mind.

"Ardina's on her way," she told Cadvan and Hem between strikes.

"I think I know what to do!" Hem exclaimed.

Then he turned and Maerad heard a scream of pure terror escape him.


	14. Chapter 14

wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra7155.php7155

* * *

_-hides self in angry-Pellinorite-proof bunker-  
__Okay, I'm ready. Go ahead and read._

* * *

_**REPRISE: "I think I know what to do!" Hem exclaimed.**_

**_Then he turned and Maerad heard a scream of pure terror escape him..._**

**_Fourteen_**

**_You hurt me to the core,  
_****_When I watched you walk away,  
_****_I thought what we had was so strong,  
_****_Until that awful day._**

**_I gave you my heart,  
_****_And as you walked away,  
_****_You took it with you,  
_****_And I wish that you would stay._**

**_Anarkin of Lirigon_**

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

Maerad whipped around to see what had scared him, and saw with horror that Sharma was just a few steps away from them, and he had his arms raised above his head. He was forming a huge ball of darkness and shadow between his hands, which twisted between his fingers.

"Push all of your power into this," Hem told them quickly. The hand he held out the fork with was not shaking, although his eyes were wide. Without question, Maerad and Cadvan took one of the forked ends each and began to push their power inside it. They retreated backwards over the battlefield, over dead and dying people, blood and mud. Sharma did not move. The ball of darkness was getting larger.

Maerad overbalanced and fell flat on her back into the soggy grime, and accidentally pulled Cadvan down with her so that he landed on his backside - but they didn't let go of the tuning fork and continued to force more and more power inside it, though it was starting to glow.

"I'm getting tired," Cadvan said. "I can't give much more."

"Nor I," Maerad agreed.

"That will have to be enough," Hem replied, and took the fork from them. He slit a long wound in his left hand and smeared blood all along its length. It became blood red and sparks flew off it like fire. Hem gripped the fork by the prongs, and aimed it at Sharma.

"Nor," he whispered, and, slowly at first but then faster, a beam of golden light began to emit from the end of the tuning fork. It grew brighter and more concentrated, and Hem held it steady, pointing at Sharma. He began to smoke. The maggots fell away and Sharma screamed again. This just brightened the light further and, with a frightening suddenness, he burst into flame. His last act was to cast the ball of darkness at his attacker, and Hem was hit by the full force of it. Maerad tried to grab him as he fell backwards, but he was too heavy and she was too weak. He fell onto the muddy, bloody ground with a sickening squelch. Maerad desperately listened for a heartbeat, but heard nothing.

"Hem?" she whispered, her voice cracking with fear. "Hem?" she repeated, louder. "Hem? Hem? Come back! Hem!" She called his name, her voice rising until she was screaming it into the air, over and over again, "Hem! Hem!" She collapsed onto his chest and sobbed uncontrollably, clutching her heart because it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. She was still crying out his name, a desperate plea that he would return against all logic and reason. She clutched his hand, praying that no more warmth would leave it, that he would sit up, give her one of his cheeky smiles. Cadvan put his own ear to the boy's chest, then shook his head sadly and pulled Maerad to him, rocking her gently, holding her head as she sobbed, until there was no water left in her eyes and she began to retch. Feeling a wetness on the top of her head she realised that Cadvan was crying too. Then he kissed her and their tears mingled, and she wasn't sure where she was any more; it was just them for a few seconds, in their own little world.

Then he pulled away and it all came flooding back.

That was how Ardina found the scene. The Hulls all dead. The great army all lying dead or close to it on the ground. The wers flying away.

Maerad and Cadvan crying, rocking each other, clutching each other. She stopped a respectful distance from them and waited until the initial grief was over. She stood there, in silence, for over half an hour, until they were ready to stand up and speak.

"Alas, my daughter, you have suffered much, but your job is not yet finished."

"You can't ask her to do more," Cadvan told her, pulling Maerad to him again.

"I must," she replied. "Remember the prophecy. _The White Flame will blossom anew. _She has not yet fulfilled this part."

"What do I have to do?" Maerad asked weakly.

Ardina turned to her. "The tuning fork. Take it." Maerad did as she was bid, taking the fork from her brother's dead hand, feeling a great lump form in her throat.

"What now?" she asked hoarsely.

"It does not have to be done here. Indeed, I feel it should not. I will take you back to Innail, and show you what to do there." She took their hands and closed her eyes. They did the same, and when they opened them again they were inside the chamber of the Circle; Maerad recognised it from her first visit to Innail.

"The White Flame is dead," she told them, bringing a small gasp from Cadvan. "Norloch is corrupted. You must make a new centre of Light. Here."

"Ardina, why are you doing this? Eldihu should not be concerned with the matters of the mortal," Cadvan questioned.

"I owe it to Ardhor," she said sadly. "Now, Maerad, Elednor, Irana. Soon you will have to give up one of your beings."

"What?" Maerad cried.

"You must pour all of your Elidhu powers into it. And from it _the White Flame will blossom anew. _Can you make this sacrifice?"

Maerad nodded, and held the fork upright, prongs down, on the table. She took a deep breath, and gave up all of her powers to it. The fork once again began to glow, this time pure white. Maerad felt it taking her powers, but now it had started it wouldn't stop and she let out a shuddering gasp as she realised it was going to consume her.

"Cadvan…" she choked.

"Let go!" he cried.

"Can't…hands…"

Ardina took over, taking the fork in her hands. As she did, Maerad was released.

"Ardina, what are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm doing the impossible," she whispered. "I'm dying."

"No!"

"You can't stop it now. It's too late." Maerad watched in horror as Ardina's glow began to fade. Finally, she was released with a jerk and fell to the ground. Maerad watched the woman in front of her. She looked so weak; she could scarcely believe that this was the Moon-Child, the Queen of Rachida, the Elidhu Ardina. So many names, so many legends and songs and Maerad had the awful feeling that they were being snuffed out irrevocably, one by one, even as she watched. Ardina's eyes were closed, and her face was calm, but still the sense that something was wrong was radiating out of her. Maerad took her hand nervously, and Ardina finally opened her eyes.

"My daughter," she said. "I feel something I never expected to feel. I admit to fear, but relief also. I feel the life ebbing away from me. I think I will not last much longer."

"How is this possible?" Cadvan murmured, putting an arm around Maerad. Ardina regarded him calmly.

"I am old," she said. "Older than imaginings. For I was the first, and it was I who first heard it, the _Treesong._" Maerad's heart still jumped at the name. "And now I have given my life for the Light, in honour of my love." She gasped suddenly, and Cadvan put out a hand to comfort her. The light around her dimmed further.

"Why do you call me daughter?" Maerad asked.

"I loved your ancestor, long ago. You are not quite my daughter, but I love you as though you were." She glanced between Maerad and Cadvan, taking in them both. "A thousand blessings on you," she said. Cadvan kissed her hand, and Maerad did the same.

And as Ardina breathed her last breath, she smiled. Her last word was: "Ardhor."

* * *

_-stays in angry-Pellinorite-proof bunker-  
__Are you going to kill me?_

_PS - One chapter left, now -nervous smile-_


	15. Chapter 15

_Go here to view the picture: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra7173.php7173_

_**REPRISE:** And as Ardina breathed her last breath, she smiled. Her last word was: "Ardhor."_

**_Fifteen_**

_**Kissing you in the dark,  
**__**Always seems so special,  
**__**When the light isn't so stark,  
**__**And all I see is you.**_

_**I can see you,**__**  
Whenever I close my eyes,  
**__**I notice all you do,  
**__**The things you think no one sees.**_

_**When you smile at me,  
**__**Time seems to stop,  
**__**And I know you love me  
**__**Too.**_

_**Anarkin of Lirigon**_

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

The next few days were hard, consisting mainly of reliving the awful events they had been through. They had to explain first to Malgorn, whom they met coming out of the Circle's chamber, then they walked up to Silvia's house and broke the news about Hem. When she had buried her initial grief, she spoke to Cadvan and Maerad.

"The two of you have changed. I saw you before you left. You were holding hands." She glanced down; their fingers were entwined then, lying on the sofa. Maerad slid her hand out of Cadvan's self-consciously. A small smile lifted Silvia's face. "It's quite alright. I think it's lovely, and if you wish me to remain quiet I will do so. Though, if you are wanting to be quiet about it then you should be a little less obvious." She sounded amused.

"We have nothing to hide," Maerad said.

"Good, I always think openness is the best way," Silvia replied cheerfully.

"Maerad means, we don't know what you're talking about," Cadvan insisted. His statement would have been more believable had they not both been blushing.

"Oh, please, you're so obvious," Silvia scoffed.

"Alright," Cadvan said. "I'll tell you. I love Maerad with all my heart." He turned to Maerad. "I do, Maerad. I never want to leave you." Maerad took his hand again and kissed him quickly on the lips. She missed the special smile he gave her as she turned to look at Silvia.

"Now, you two go home and get changed out of those dirty clothes and come and have some wine with Malgorn and myself. We received a bird from Saliman yesterday. I will tell you more when you return."

"Wait a moment," Maerad said, touching Cadvan's arm. "I want to try something." She closed her eyes and sank through the layers of who she was. When she tried to transform into her Elidhu self, there was an emptiness and she stayed as Maerad. "Irana doesn't exist any more," she told them, opening her eyes. "I suppose that part of me is in the White Flame."

Silvia stared at her. "Now that is a story. But a wash and a change of clothes is needed before you tell it. Off you go."

Maerad and Cadvan left, walking out into the sunny day.

"It's too nice weather for the day of so many deaths," Cadvan mused.

"That's exactly what I thought earlier," Maerad replied. "I can scarcely believe it was only this morning." Cadvan stopped any further words she might have said by putting a hand on her cheek and touching his lips to hers. They stopped walking. Cadvan slowly deepened the kiss as they turned to face each other. His hands slid down to Maerad's waist as she put her arms around his neck. They finally pulled away and walked on in comfortable silence. They met again when they had changed and walked back up to Silvia's house. She let them in and sat them down with a glass of wine.

"What did Saliman say?" Maerad asked Silvia.

"He said the fight has been successful, and that Enkir has been imprisoned. I will send him a bird about…He will be very upset."

"We have to bury him," Maerad said quietly, looking down at the floor.

"We will, Maerad," Silvia assured her.

Saliman was on the road again, with around a dozen of his fellow fighters who wished to go to Innail. The battle had been hard, and they had suffered heavy casualties, but they had eventually managed to overpower Enkir. The minute their leader had been taken, most of his troops had surrendered, and had been imprisoned before their many trials; however, few of the Hulls had surrendered and had either been overpowered, killed or had managed to escape. On the second day travelling, he received a bird. The note it carried was wet in one or two places, as though a light rain had started when the writer had been writing.

"My dear friend," it read. "I bring sorrowful news, as well as fantastic news.

Sharma has been defeated, but at great cost. So many deaths, as well as one very close to all our hearts. I am sorry to tell you that Hem has passed beyond the Gates. He was extremely brave, and passed while fighting. His last act was the casting down of the Nameless.

I will tell you more when you return, and we rejoice that you have defeated Enkir. Perhaps now some normality may return to Edil-Amarandh.

Maerad and Cadvan are fine, and we all await your return.

Silvia."

Saliman thought his heart had stopped for a moment. Hem couldn't be…He had been like a son to him. He rode the rest of the way in a sorrowful silence, and said nothing when his fellow riders asked what was wrong. He couldn't voice it.

He arrived in Innail and went straight to Silvia's and Malgorn's house. He knocked quickly, and the door was answered by Silvia.

"Saliman!" she cried, happiness in her face but sorrow and apprehension in her voice. They embraced and then she asked, "You received my bird?" Saliman just nodded. "You should go and see Maerad and Cadvan. They have their own houses here now. I'll take you to see Cadvan first, then we can take you both to Maerad's, yes?" She was talking to cover his silence, stepping out and shutting the door behind her. She knew him well enough to know that his usual way to deal with grief was silence, and took him by the arm to lead the way to Cadvan's house.

Saliman felt detached, as though he were simply going through the motions of walking; there was nothing inside him. Hem…The boy had been frightened at first, but he was such a naturally cheery boy that it was impossible not to like him, and Hem had quickly relaxed. He had been so brave, Saliman thought as they arrived at Cadvan's cottage. He just nodded, once, when Cadvan greeted him, and as Cadvan also knew him well he did not comment on his silence.

They all sat down in Maerad's living room, and there was a slightly awkward silence until Cadvan spoke.

"Hem defeated Sharma, you know. Maerad and I used our power, but it was Hem who did it. He was very brave." His voice seemed to break at this point, and he stopped. There was another long silence, less awkward this time.

"I'm on my own now," Maerad choked, the words catching in her throat as tears threatened in her eyes.

"You're not alone," Silvia told her.

_I will always be with you, my sweet, _Cadvan said into her mind. Maerad glanced up at him but did not reply.

The burials followed a few days later, which were the hardest thing of all; to stand and see row upon row of small grey gravestones. Some bore no name, because the body was too disfigured to identify, or because the person had been the last in their family still alive. Maerad and Cadvan found Hem's grave and Cadvan held her as she wept. Saliman followed in their footsteps a little later, alone, and sat for a while just touching the grave and blinking more often than seemed normal. Cadvan had given him his cottage, and slept on Maerad's sofa.

The night of the burial, Maerad awoke near midnight and saw with a shock that someone was sitting on her chair next to her bed. She rubbed her eyes and saw it was Cadvan, reading a book.

"Why are you in here?" she asked sleepily, making him jump.

"I wanted to be close to you," he replied sheepishly, putting the book on the table. His face was red as he made to go back to the living room. Maerad caught his hand and he turned back to face her, looking surprised. She sat up without letting go of his hand and pulled him down to sit with her. A small smile lit his features momentarily as he folded his legs underneath him. He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Don't ever leave me," Maerad whispered. Cadvan kissed her briefly then replied;

"Oh, Maerad, my sweet, how could I ever leave you when you're all that I have, all that I am, and all that I want? I love you so much."

"I love you too," Maerad said with a smile.

And for the first time Maerad felt, as she sat in Cadvan's arms, that she truly belonged.

* * *

Baby, you're all that I want,  
When you're lying here in my arms,  
I'm finding it hard to believe,  
We're in heaven.

And love is all that I need,  
And I found it there in your heart,  
It isn't too hard to see,  
We're in heaven.

Bryan Adams

* * *

_Aww . So, thanks for sticking with me through 15 chapters! Did'ya like? Please review!_


	16. Chapter 16

This book is dedicated to Princess-Shadow. Thanks for your help, PS

Acknowledgments…

Jennistar/Mia for a stolen (and changed) idea; Fallen-Petals (what a great secret-keeper. She has known what I've been writing for ages :P); Alison Croggon, of course, without whom there would be no books, no forums and no fanfics shudder; Michael and Geoff from wwwDOTbookclubforumDOTcoDOTuk for their editing advice.

I drew all the pictures except the cow, which my sister did.

OfElementalMind wrote anything credited to Micha of Lirigon, Sirkana wrote as Galen of Pellinor, I got the one from Larcan of Desor from an icon, Mistress Maerad wrote as Moira of Gent, PellinorFan11 wrote as Thorkon of Turbansk, Lanorgil of Pellinor's poem at the beginning was written by Princess-Shadow. Thanks so much, all of you, for letting me use your poems! I wrote all of the ones in the actual story as well as anything credited to Anarkin of Lirigon.

Author's note: I know we've all kinda decided Maerad's Elidhu name would be Loreida, but we hadn't when I started writing (or at least, I didn't know), and Arkan, Ardina and Nyanar all have 2 "a"s, an "r" and an "n", so I wanted it to have the same. And yes, I am aware of the fact that in the appendices for the Riddle Alison mentions that a Truename is usually one name, but two fitted better with the story.

A last word: I actually made _myself _cry in chapter fourteen O.O


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